...Living on a Prayer...

2006-02-16T06:39:00.000-08:00

haha who else can post only once a whole year.. guess that's gota be me.. maybe can try for the 2nd year running.. very possible haha.. hmm looks like this will only be for my own eyes.. cos don't think anyone still checks my blog now.. haha all must be thinking tat same thought.. "that lazy bum jeremy sure won't post anymore".. lol if u still do get to chance upon this post.. u must be new to this blog or else.. CRAZY to keep checking whether i did post anything.. wahahha.. well think its almost a year already.. time really flies man.. think lotsa things have changed.. i wonder whether i myself had any dramatic changes.. hmm .. roughly the same i guess.. so easily drifting into the comfort zone and slack.. damn.. although i do have some momentum going at some pt of time.. it dies off pretty quick.. yeah talking about studying here.. as i get older the more meaningless it gets.. but complaining about something you cant really go against in spore is useless huh.. living a dog's life in the dog year..

ok topic of studying isn't interesting anymore ar.. maybe shall delve into something more interesting or juicy.. like relationships.. you know.. bfs gfs.... luuurve huh...yum yum.. cant wait to see what im gona say ar... well..................... nothing much la.. wahhaha just to get on ur nerves a little and hope u will smash whatever thats in front of you.. don't show the middle finger at your screen ar.. wait get spotted.. lol.. k la.. recently got the chance to know a little bit of horoscope.. and found out virgo seems to be quite picky.. so maybe thats what i am.. dono man.. who am i to be picky right. basket.. erm.. think just dowan to go into it unless im sure ar.. yeah yeah whatever ar..seem to be talking like some drunk cockanaden..

ok seems like a crucial year where alot of things can make a difference to the future.. as in that period of time.. the early 20s to around 26? bloody old sia.. one can only imagine what would happen in 5 years time ? well i sure wish i could strike lottery then i can say bye to sch and just do whatever i like.. ok enuff blabbering.. just for the fun of it.. let's not predict whether i'll be back writing again.. haha

Magical..

2005-06-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

Almost couldnt even log into blogger cos i forgot my username.. Thankfully my IE still saved it when i typed the letter 'b'. haha been a long time man.. Whats gone into me to start again..

It was Fri nite.. 17 jun 05.. 1st time i stepped into Hard Rock Cafe. Nice cosy place.

And there it was, my first time gettin to sing in front of diners.. It was a fren's bday and so sorta was dared into go up. Yep. So there ya go. Din regret it.

The live band was just perfect. Whatever fears i had were dispelled the moment the piano and guitar starting playing. Simply magic. Fortunately din make them puke..

Chose Bed of roses which was what the band could play. Wanted 'always' at 1st but oh well.. Unbelievably i remembered the lyrics.. Thought i was gona screw it up halfway as there were times i vaguely recalled what the nxt line to the song was. What luck.. It all came out good.. Fantastic.. That old ecstatic feeling was brought back to me.. Rocking with the band..

What a week its been

2004-12-12T23:55:00.000-08:00

Just finished watching the vampire drama.. A pity it had to end.. I was rather impressed with the plot.. was really unpredictable and only everything was revealed in the last episode. Ending made me confused on whether i shld be feeling happy or sad.. but overall the show had a lot of sad moments.. Although i still recommend it.. haha Plot was so chim that some parts im still having difficulty trying to understand.. Maybe when im free i will watch it again.. decided to keep it in my com cos i felt it was one of those series worth keeping.. Anyway seems that i gota limit my downloading already.. The new law's starting nxt yr or it had already started according to my fren.. And my mum's nagging away.. Shall relac for the moment and see who will get caught and how severely punished they get before i start my downloading again..

Since tue i've been reaching home not later than 10 pm.. reason being the gospel meeting that my church had organised which started from wed nite till today.. Fortunately the lack of sleep hasnt got me down with sickness or anything.. Weather's been cold lately and alot of ppl ard me are getting sick.. Realised that a few ppl in church got to know abt my blog and u shld know who u are ar when u see this.. haha wonder how u got to know abt it but hope it helps u kill time or 'entertains' u as reading blogs have helped me to kill time in the office..

At this moment of writing this entry, i feel like giving up typing and clicking the x at the top right hand corner haha.. seems like a lot has happened the past week and im finding it hard to put everything down.. but basically the 2 main highlights were the gospel meeting and the auditions for the impresario2005..

I cant remember how many years of gospel meetings i have attended.. Enthusiasm level has really dropped since the 1st time i served as an usher.. I think its just human though, that after experiencing the same thing over and over again, u become quite numb to it.. Its really hard to maintain the same kind of fervour for something.. Therefore i was only doing songleading for a nite.. One of the thoughts i would wana put down is that sometimes i feel that few ppl in the church can be so worldly that i think even my sec sch buddies are better in comparison, character and behaviour-wised.. Quite pathetic i find.. i just remembered pondering abt this although i cant remember the ppl who prompted it..

Auditions were not bad, although i cant say im confident i will definitely get thru to the semi finals of my solo and duet category.. just hope for the best.. Results will be known by end of dec, either notifying me thru email or by phone.. finally this burden has gotten off my back.. Im not easily stressed but i think becos of this seriousness in this craft, it naturally just burdens me.. It was after the auditions that i really felt relieved.. The stress does help u to be focus and not to play a fool so i think its quite good la, help u to perform ur best.. bad part is that its unhealthy ar of cos..grow more white hair.. haha hmm predicting a full white head by 35 yrs old ? my dad's head shld have been totally white yrs ago if not for his constant dying of hair..

1 more week to finally getting a break from the routine dull office life.. A new guy is coming into my branch tmr.. Not quite sure whether i can click but im having a bad impression of him already judging from what he has done last week.. Cant be bothered to write it out but im hoping our working relationship wont be strained at the start till my ord..

Catching up...

2004-12-05T21:00:00.000-08:00

Fri night i met up with a few of my 1st yr jc classmates, the closer ones that is namely Ashraf, Jason and Alex.. Even though i was in that class for less than a yr.. which is from april till ard november.. we were pretty close all the way till now. i gave a birthday treat to alex la at cafe cartel.. This was to sort of compensate my failure to arrive at his bday party the night of the jay chou concert.. I did call him up though after the concert and he told me no need to come before i tried asking him if it was ok if i didnt have to come but treat him some other day.. haha Yep anyway i think we were the rowdiest inside the restaurant, laughing and talking out loud like 4 mad fools. I could see 2 parents from the other table giving us a weird look but since the other 3 din notice i just ignored it and we just carried on and on..

Talked abt old times, mostly funny stuff la.. abt how me and another guy firdaus would have our quarrels with the teachers and how my attitude towards studying was like at that time.. Jason was doing most of the reenactment which was really farnee.. He was the one that planned to perform the bon jovi song "i'll be there for you" together at the songfest the following yr. We were tight buddies and i could remember him saying that hopefully we would form a band and make it big.. haha dreamers we were.. we talked alot abt band stuff.. Yep anyway he was saying how it was like when we just sat down to study for the promotional exams, just moments later i would be singing "i'll be there for you", and after a while i would say, "wah very stress ar, i need to go and play cs" and then i would just pack up and walk off and head to the lan shop.. dono la jason kept saying i would be singing, 'i'll be there for you' halfway during lectures and then go to sleep.. haha dono wads with the i'll be there for you part.. couldnt remember being so crazy abt that song.. might be though otherwise he wouldnt keep saying so..

Also recalled another incident during the dinner thx to jason.. It was my birthday and it was GP lesson.. so my form teacher wanted me to stay back after sch to do my homework becos as usual i didnt complete it.. I tried asking whether i could stay back the next day to do it and she said no.. i think it took just a split sec after hearing the word no that i exploded and said, "i don care ar, im not staying" and then i just walked off.. Can still remember jason, alex and ashraf there as well in the classroom, quite stunned that i said that..I felt bad saying that to her la cos she was actually quite a nice person. That same day i went to see her again, cos she wanted to see me.. i apologised and she told me that its not that she purposely wanted to make me stay back on my birthday and then she said, "do you know that you spoiled my day".. Actually i think if she scolded me or something i wouldnt feel that bad but that made me feel worse ar.. Hmm i guess that incident spoiled my day also la.. Thats y i can remember it quite clearly.. haha

Ok so much for that.. i did change for the better.. i hope.. haha I think i was quite a nightmare for my teachers back then, heard from my chinese teacher that i was the topic of discussion back then among the teachers but of cos not for anything good la.. haha.. Think even teachers who didnt teach me knew abt me.. lol.. Famous for the wrong stuff..

So after dinner we went to watch Shutter.. Basket i think im quite balless sia watching ghost movies.. i sticked my fingers to my ears almost the entire show.. Usually if i don get to hear the sounds, it wouldnt be so scary but i was still shocked in a few parts of the movie.. This showed how scary it was.. haha coward sia even though i don believe in ghosts.. but watching a ghost movie is entirely different.. I could explore the supposedly haunted places without feeling scared but its not the same watching a horror film la.. dono why also.. We went to changi to eat supper and then take a look at the bapoks selling themselves.. quite disgusting la especially hearing their voices.. Psychos..

Saturday was great la.. Jammed with a new line up.. 1st time but it was quite smooth for a 1st time sia.. My guitarist, the guy who initiated everything, sort of kicked out my drummer and bassist frens and replaced them with 2 australians, both only aged 16 but they could really play.. Especially the drummer, was really impressed.. Although it was so dynamic that i couldnt hear my own voice and ended up overstraining myself.. Came out of the studio partially deaf and couldnt really hear what my fren was saying.. i kept going "huh?" Yar but the nxt jamming session would be in jan la.. cos the drummer going to tour south america and a bit of the States for abt a mth.. Rich kids man.. the bassist got an O2 handphone cum palm top.. the kind of hp that cost thousand plus bucks man... I still treated them to drinks after the session.. feel quite stupid haha but its ok la..

Training was shack sia.. We played 4 v4 .. Winner stays system.. In the end we lasted all 7 matches until the end where we played 5 v5 all the way.. Kena cramp at the end even.. sianz.. think gota work more on my left leg .. Its like quite useless.. Missed too much using left foot and wasted too much time trying to bring the ball to my right.. Shall try to work on that...

At night went to watch soccer with zixiang weihao and munloong at the usual place again outside Plaza sing.. watched chelsea totally dominating newcastle and thrashing them 4-0.. think they are going to win the league for the 1st time since the 1950s.. Keep wanting to watch the show Saw but don have the time or opportunity to watch it.. Maybe shall copy Amos' style and watch it by myself during the weekdays or something haha.. Meanwhile cant wait for Blade 3 and Constantine.. Vampire movies .. Power la.. haha Just hope i have the time to watch it over the nxt few weeks..

Eat eat eat..

2004-12-02T23:05:00.000-08:00

Been eating alot yesterday and today.. a dinner treat tmr, gona treat my fren cos his 21st bday just passed.. and monday another treat for my colleague who has orded today.. Yep 2nd Dec is his date of ORD, ive been talking aloud to myself in office, when is my turn ?! and im even planning what time to come into office already. haha although aug 6 is still like a long time away. Still its good to plan early, right ? lol.. Yep today since my colleague orded, therefore we went out to eat at ard 12pm.. I was quite hungry at 10am, our usual break time and so i had fish n chips, wad a mistake i made as i thought i could handle the lunch at 12.. Well i couldnt and in the afternoon i had indigestion, kept burping away which was a horrible experience.. Then yesterday we ate at some chi restaurant, occasion being a farewell for my branch head who was posted out few weeks back.. It was really like eating to the pt where u might puke seeing more food esp after the double lunches i had today.. Jialat.. having a phobia of eating already.. haha

Anyway the results of the Sg idol was out yesterday and as i predicted Taufik emerged our 1st singapore idol.. Even though i sort of supported sylvester, i just knew that Taufik would win with his consistent delivery of the songs, especially the song 'Me and Mrs Jones'. The presentation was all smooth and polished as wad the newspaper wrote but i din really find it lifting or inspiration probably onli with the exception of tat song 'Me and Mrs Jones'. On the other hand i felt that Sylvester blew his chances by singing 'Its my life'.. Quite bad ar.. haha wouldnt wana elaborate, just that a bit painful to listen ar as he was screaming the song out like some madman.. But i think he sang the song 'I dream' better than how Taufik sung it. It was really stirring, the sort of delivery that can shivers down ur spine if u know wad i mean and that made me vote 1 time which is the one and only vote i cast thruout this competition. But too bad la ar.. haha 1 vote cant do wonders..

Just wanted to voice out the only displeasure i felt from watching the finals.. This is regarding those Mats who were supporting Taufik.. A bit pissed off at their actions, quite obvious to hear Taufik's name being shouted a number of times while Sylvester was singing and booing was heard as well.. Basket.. I mean even if u don support the person u don have to do that right? Throwing basic mannerism out the window.. Not onli that, while the judges were commenting, they were doing those thumbs down signs and even showed the middle finger.. a disgusting sight.. Perhaps onli this sort of behaviour happens over here? Even if Jerry Ong the guy who simply cannot make it was singing, i wouldnt boo him out loud, perhaps i would laugh at his singing but not out loud enuff to let everyone hear it.. i think those mats shld be up there singing and get booed at to have an idea what it feels to be on the receiving end of that.. Other than that, the show was quite entertaining to watch, excitement at its peak and i guess Taufik's victory was well-deserved. Think he put in lots of hard work into perfecting his craft which is a good pt to learn. Well American Idol would be commencing in Jan so lets look forward to that..

Bored.. Disciplinary problem..

2004-11-30T10:40:00.000-08:00

Yeah once again im the only one in the branch again.. The others have all gone for some briefing. Some are not in office due to course, medical appointment or not even posted in yet.. So here i am, slacking away. Thought of sleeping but im not sure when they are going to come back..

Woke up this morning at 530 am sia.. Damn shack cos today was my 1st duty of another cycle of duties. Our duties are quite simple really, just have to be the 1st one to reach the office to open it up and maybe the last person to leave the office to lock up. Sometimes some kind hearted souled officer might offer to take the key from the duty clerk ar if he/she is going to be staying till very late. Yar anyway i was hit with 5 extra duties because i forgot to lock up my own cabinet ar, which contained confidential files. This was the 2nd time i kena already from spot checks made within the department itself so the punishment was inevitable la from our own discipline officer. Im not complaining ar, i knew i would get it sooner or later.. Im either too lazy to lock it up or just cant be bothered, thinking that no one is going to check la.. In my one year plus in the office, there was no official checks by the security department, hence my decision to bocap ar.. lol Yeah good lesson for me to learn. Gota cover ur own ass and not get carried away by complacency. Anyway discovered that the discipline officer who handed this punishment to me and another colleague did not 'catch' the mistakes of his own branch ppl and just let it go. They too did not lock up their own cabinets but got away with it since their branch's discipline officer helped cover their ass.. Unfair yep but cant do anything abt it la.. I myself am in the wrong already.. Cant be pointing the finger at an officer sommore.. So just let it be.. another 4 more duties to go.. shiok..

Anyway it seems i have this problem with discipline.. even back in sch i would be going to detention for being late or being punished for skipping lessons, rude to teachers, until i was quite on good terms with our OM (operation manager), the one who carries out the punishment and also our displine master.. i could remember dying my hair in college and my form teacher directed me to him. But he just told me, don have to dye back, just cut it shorter ar.. haha my form teacher din understand why i wasnt getting anything worse.. Well perhaps its just mutual respect with the displine master and myself.. I always listened to him when he told me not to repeat certain mistakes.. I think thats the way to make ppl listen to him, by respecting the students first and treating them as adults ar.. Instead of barking at them straight in the face. I think that will only cause them to rebel further. At least in my case i feel i will rebel la.. haha Of cos my misbehaviour was not to the extent of beating ppl up, killing or setting stuff on fire la.. Yep so maybe im quite well behaved in comparison huh.. haha Hopefully wont have any brushes with the law due to my 'think i can get away with it or wont get caught' attitude..

就是开不了口让你知道。。。

2004-11-29T20:30:00.000-08:00

I guess the highlight of the weekend has to be the jay chou concert i went to on sat nite.. Fortune seemed to play a part in me going tat evening.. Wasnt supposed to go in the first place.. Although zixiang and i were talking abt going, both of us were just too plain lazy to go buy the tics. In the end 2 weeks before the concert date i received an sms from an ex college sch mate Maybel asking me whether i wanted to go cos her fren whom i also knew couldnt make it and so tada.. There i was on sat nite at the indoor stadium waving my light stick together with all the crazy screaming female fans who nearly made me go deaf..

Actually to be frank i wasnt all that excited abt the concert, i din even bother to check where the seat was located, how near it was to the stage, which direction from the stage, etc. I was even thinking , "walau i shldnt have agreed to go and let fly 150 bucks just like that". Reason being i wasnt so much interested in his songs as i did before and i already went for his concert last yr in jan, thats y the enthusiasm level wasnt that high.. But ok la i didnt mind going so i agreed to sort of help my fren out with that spare ticket.. my financial status was still healthy la at that time.. lol

Initially his voice was quite weird la.. sounding abit like mickey mouse or milk from energy.. probably becos he performed the nite before and was haven recovered from it. But i think the fans don seem to care la.. Just seeing him appear drove them nuts.. However as the concert went on his voice warmed up and he sounded much better especially when he stretched to reach the high tones.. have to say i was quite impressed with the singing.. Some artists sing exactly like the way they sing in the cd but jay chou definitely din do that.. There was always improvisation, making it sound real good and gave a refreshing presentation of the song.. Definitely worth the 150 bucks la.. Although i was facing the supposedly back part of the stage where the musicians were situated, it was a blessing in disguise as he could only go to the edge of the stage when he walked over to our side.. Its a center stage by the way.. So he can face the audience in all directions.. Yep so he would be much closer to us than compared to the other sides.. i think the closest he got to was abt just under 10 m.. much closer than where i was seated last yr..

Farnee part was that when his guest singer Landy was performingm, her performance was so hot that i cracked my light stick and the luminous fluid came out.. She was wearing 2 piece and dancing quite provocatively i shld say.. I din even notice cracking my light stick in my hand until i felt my hands being a little wet.. haha looked down and saw my hands being a luminous yellow.. The carpet floor also kena.. Got a little on my shoes and my bag.. Lucky din wave that light stick or would have gotten myself all luminous la.. At the last part of the concert after the last song.. Jay had finished playing drums, and he threw 1 of the drum sticks across.. I swear i could have caught that stick if i had stepped on the chair in front and jumped for it.. but i didnt.. afraid that i would fall on the ppl in front of me and crush them with my o so big and fat body.. lol The stick fell to the ground and Maybel stretched and got a hold of it, onli to have it snatched from her grasp by another fanatical female fan.. Madness.. Maybel was just pissed off la.. haha and kept talking abt it the whole nite.. I din take pics though, Maybel and her frens took tons.. So maybe will post a few when she sends me the photos..

A Meaningful Tale..

2004-11-29T10:03:00.000-08:00

Just came across this story which someone posted in friendster so decided to steal it and put it in my blog.. haha so here it goes..

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms.
The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat.

My buddies insisted that
I carry her out of the car in my arms.

So I carried her into our home.
She was then plump and shy.

I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of
pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more
money.

When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us
seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant.

Every morning we left home together
and got home almost at the same time.

Our kid was studying in a boarding
school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.
But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from behind.

My heart once again was immersed in her
stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, You are the kind of man who best
draws girls. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife.

When we just married, my wife said,
Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed
my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to
select some furniture,

O.K.? I 've got something to do in the company.
Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with
her.

At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it
used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy
preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon.
Then we watched TV together.

Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing
Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way,
suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds
without a word.

Apparently she believed that divorce was
something too far away from her.

I couldn' t imagine how she would react once she
got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just
stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and
tried to hide something while talking with her.

She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled
at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, Divorce her, O.K.?
Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held herhand. I 've got something to
tell you, I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed
the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn' t know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a
serious topic calmly.

She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious.

I avoided her question.
This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me, you are not a man!

At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our
marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart
had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake
of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my
heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would
become a stranger one day.

But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was
what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining
my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast.
When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep
again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t
want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time
before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as
possible.

Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation
a month later and she didnt want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and
then asked me, Do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the
wedding day?

This question suddenly brought back all those
wonderful memories to me.

I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me
in your arms , she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you
carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to
the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door
every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those
sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she
does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words
more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since
my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other
as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared
clumsy.

Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son.

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse.

I realized that I hadn' t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long
time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on
her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to
feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my
sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became more vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me
something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while
cooking, etc.

I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn t tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to
carry you now.

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to
carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter.

I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner
that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again,
I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her
head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to
carry mum out. He said.

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out
had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come
closer and hugged him tightly.

I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at
the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through
the sitting room, to the hallway.

Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step.

Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I
hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t
notice that our life was lack of such intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I
walked upstairs. Dew opened the door.

I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm
serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched
my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head.

Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My
marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the
details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand
that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am
supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me
a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs
and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me
to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I 'll carry you out
every morning until
we are old
---------------------------------------------------------------

Thankfully the ending was a good one otherwise i would have hated the story as a whole.. Guess im a sucker for happy endings.. Anyway maybe blog later tonight to update on the weekend.. so im off for now..

Rain rain go away...

2004-11-25T11:58:00.000-08:00

Its been raining everyday this whole week.. Thankfully not during my lunch period when i get to have 1 hr of exercise.. Either go for a jog or a swim.. Otherwise i would be sleeping from 1-2 pm which is also quite a better alternative sometimes.. haha

So its the end of the year and its that time of the year where its starting to get slack within the office.. Officers start taking their leave to go on holidays with their families and you can feel the holiday mood within the office.. There's just not many ppl ard.. Basically ive been just slacking the past few days since monday.. My major has been in a good mood lately, so thats good news for me.. However today was a little different compared to the previous days.. Spent almost the whole day ammending this paper which he wanted to hand over to the head of the department.. Probably abt a stack of ard 5-7 cm thick of papers were being used in the process sia.. Kinda frustrating becos it was easy for him to just say, " could you change this?" or "how come like that?" when the process of changing it was quite tedious.. Anyway i just got down to work and finished the job by 530pm. I had the idea that he could never be satisfied. Ok at least i wasnt made to do OT and went back on time.. All im wishing for is for a new replacement for my colleague to come in soon la.. at least i wont be alone taking up all the arrows and someone to share a little of the burden.. My colleague's currently clearing leave and gona ord nxt thur.. Power la.. I think i have ard 8 mths plus ? haha i shld stop thinking abt it or else it would seem like eternity.

Received a msg from my dad asking me whether i could make it to join him, my mum and this american preacher called Barry Hatcher for dinner. I just replied with 3 words, "i eat myself" (yep i know the english is wrong) .. well anyway i don realli like this kind of situations when u have to sort of 'entertain' those foreign preachers who come by singapore.. feel like im put in this awkward position where i have to talk to them.. haha i guess i don realli like talking to those ang mos la.. Suddenly find myself trying to speak proper english so as to be audible to them.. quite weird as in im not being myself, cant talk in short form combining a little dialect or other lang here and there or not using my own lingo or singlish la basically. He taught a good lesson though at bible class.. Grabbed my attention thruout which is a rarity for teachers.. lol Guess i do need to do some daily reading instead of just relying on bible lessons cos as he said those lessons just brush u by.. Just aint enuff.. Sometimes u know something is important but due to laziness (my main weakness here) or other factors u just ignore it.. I think the last time i did some reading was in preparation for my teaching assignment. Other than that i don think i can remember reading the bible the past few yrs.. Gota do something abt that soon.

This week theres no sg idol, thats y somehow feeling a bit empty.. Usually look forward to thur nights where i get to laugh at or admire the singing.. haha guess i gota wait another 6 days more for the grand finale.. Instead tonight they showed the 2 finalists on their individual journeys in sg idol.. It seems quite wayang ar when they both talked abt their mums and started getting emotional.. Maybe the directors made it seem that way..i shall just give them a benefit of a doubt that they were truly feeling tat way.. Anyway gota give respect them for the hard work they put in for the past couple of months. My prediction would be for Taufik to clinch it based on his performances and Sylvester to go into the chinese music scene.. haha Watch this space in a week's time.. In the mean time ive been downloading and watching my vampire drama every day man.. Its getting more and more exciting with each episode, makes me wana quickly rush home after work to watch it.. O come bite me vamp and turn me into one.. hahaha *evil laughter*.. Turning psychotic.

O man.. Weekend just passes u by in a flash

2004-11-21T23:56:00.000-08:00

Before i stop blogging for good, lets try building up a bit of momentum ar and putting some input into this.. i do expect myself to be stopping soon ar.. probably just updating once in a blue moon.. haha the past few days have been real bz.. i think ive hardly been ard at home except to sleep of cos, esp during the weekend..

Results of Singapore idol came as a little shock to me. I expected olinda and taufik to proceed to the finals but sylvester made it instead of olinda.. I guess plenty of his female teenage fans possibly including those ah lians, must have put in plenty of votes to slightly edge out olinda.. Pity Olinda wasnt much of a looker or im sure she would have definitely made it to the final stage. Sad part of it all is that talent wasnt the main factor in deciding the final 2, mass appeal played a part too.. as in physical appearance or the ability to link up with the audience.. I do hope Taufik gets to win it.. His delivery the past few weeks was definitely better than Sylvester.. Hopefully race don play a part in who the champ will be cos it would be quite disgusting to watch..

Jon came to stay over fri nite, bringing along the fifa 2005 that he bought in KL.. Certainly much better gameplay than the last version of fifa i played..Although i thought the gamemakers were trying to imitate the gameplay of Winning eleven.. hmm still feel winning eleven is the best.. haha Yeah he joined me the next day for lunch with my parents near at some restaurant near bugis. Then joined me at maju for training.. quite ok ar .. Training was not bad.. Really drilled on passing.. I think more and more ppl will be joining in the training. Heard Terence is going to bring his friend in and jon will be bringing 2 others.. So good la the more the merrier esp with ppl like ben, damien and shufi coming back from injury quite soon..

Soon after went to meet munloong and zixiang for dinner cum watching football match at Piazza at Plaza Sing.. Its been a long time since we last went to watch soccer there.. cos they had just finished their exams.. Munloong wasnt in a good mood recently ar.. Wont wana say much abt why ar.. basically its becos of a ger ar.. haha thats all i can say.. Hes very emotional la when it comes to this relationship stuff.. Can easily tell from his behaviour or mood.. Looks can be quite deceiving la.. he might look like a gangster la.. but actually he can be a fine loyal fren.. If i had some kind of problem, there would be no worries going to him for help.. Just that he's always late when we meet up la which is quite pissing off ar.. haha Dont know why ppl say i look like an ah beng back in college.. I guess they haven seen my good fren munloong yet la.. haha.. Hmm probably the group of us looks like a gang.. But then again don think so la..

Been always quite fascinated with vampires, especially recently ive been watching this hongkong drama serials called A date with a vampire 3.. Not so much of a scary show but rather its more of an action comedy plus romance.. Can say a mixture of almost everything la.. Anyway been thinking that it would be quite style la if i could actually become a vampire.. haha The powers of the vampire is just tempting.. of cos similar to the vampires in the drama serial i would want myself to be able to walk in the sunlight la.. otherwise quite pathetic la.. Not happy with someone and all i have to do is just bite him and suck his blood dry ar...or i could use my super human strength and break him into 2.. lolz.. (damn im getting cranky).. Being able to fly would definitely be another joy.. Just that i wouldnt wana be sucking on human blood all the time la.. probably go steal from blood bank or feed on those animals ar.. or maybe search for those criminals to suck their blood.. haha ok enuff.. thats my crazy fantasy for u.. Time for sleep and face monday blues tmr..

Back to Work..

2004-11-16T10:06:00.000-08:00

Its been 1 week since i last blogged. Was either too bz, too tired or just plain lazy to post anything, probably in the holiday mood to relac from blogging as well.. haha Seems that im getting a little disinterested in blogging, whatever spare time i have i would either be trying to download episodes from this drama serial (A date with a vampire 3), or watching my downloaded vids, or just be talking to ppl online.. I would rather be posting my opinions on certain stufff than to blog about what ive been doing lately.. but lately im not pondering much on stuff (yes i do think) haha so there isnt any urge to blog also.. But today theres hardly anything to do in office, officers all not ard.. i shall kill some time by updating my blog a little.. =]

Hmm lets see where shall i start.. Ok shall be a bit disorganised, 1stly talk abt yesterday which is a monday since its still fresh in my mind.. Munloong zixiang and i met up to watch the movie 'The forgotten'.. been wanting to watch that in a while. Coincidentally amos was also watching the same show in the same theatre.. bumped into him in the toilet.. Weird thing was he was watching alone ar.. haha think he has a habbit of doing that.. We tried to find a seat next to us for him to swap but couldnt as we were flanked by couples.. Interesting show i shld say.. dowan to reveal so much.. although munloong kept falling asleep.. Zixiang could jab him awake and the nxt sec he would just fall back to sleep.. haha

Later on we met up with another fren from sec sch. He just came back from KL. Told us that he was sort of robbed or i think coaxed into donating to the gang's funds the day he arrived in KL.. haha stupid sia.. He said the moment he and his frens (total of 4 ppl) got off at some LRT station with their luggage, they were approached by 3 guys with quite a number of ppl standing behind the 3.. The hotel was only 100m away.. they were then asked to follow the gangsters to some coffeeshop where they were 'interviewed' by few men in their forties.. who must have been the elders of that gang.. They were asked what gang they were from and other qns along those lines.. Then asked to hand money and their hps over.. So my fren passed them 150 rm plus his nokia 6610.. leaving his sing cash and some rm in his wallet.. Funny thing was that they let him take out his sim card 1st before handing the phone over.. and the 4 of them were treated to drinks at the coffeeshop during this so called robbery.. Another thing was that when they went to the information counter at berjaya times square to ask for help, the person told them not to call the police but offered a telephone no. of a boss of another gang.. my fren was stunned on the spot and din bother to take the number down..

The following day which was a sunday they saw the same guy who came to approach them and so they called the police.. In the end only 1 guy was caught but the money and hps could not be retrieved.. Anyway munloong, zixiang and i had a fun time discussing on what to do if this situation happened to us.. We thought of hammering the guy who would ask for money
and flee straightaway since the hotel was only 100m away.. but zixiang was saying we might reach the hotel and find munloong to be missing.. since he cant outrun the gangsters and get chopped as he's a bit on the slow side.. Think we spent the whole nite talkin abt what to do.. Damn lame la.. I was listening and laughing more than getting involved in the discussion.. but i think i would rather die fighting than just handing over the cash like some loser ar. Thats if i know that they are unarmed ar but its difficult to tell ar..

So much for that story, for the past week, played soccer 3 times, thur, sat and sunday.. I cant remember when was the last time i played so much soccer in a week.. Shall just talk abt thur ar, it was a match between my church lim ah pin coc (church of christ) and jurong coc. Initially we were told that they had been training regularly leading to the match, that they had 22 players to choose from and were very good.. For our side it was our 1st time playing together since a few yrs ago and we were trying to cough out numbers to form a team. But in the end we thrashed them 5-0 in a much heated encounter.. I can remember them debating every decision that the referee made or scolding the referee when a foul wasnt given.. I was feeling quite agitated and would have shouted at them if they werent fellow brothers in christ.. shld just play to the referee la.. one of them was especially loud in action and speech.. He even made violent tackles on my cousin justin(studs to the shin) and andre (ball was long gone but still went for player).. Basket.. Would have kiccked him out of the game, literally if he went for me with malicious intent.. Ok cool i can feel my blood boiling.. Yar main thing was that we won ar.. Nice hat trick by my cousin and we dominated for most of the match.. i think that football can be quite dangerous in that christian like behaviour can be thrown out the window in the heat of the game.. Very difficult to keep your cool..

Public hols galore..

2004-11-09T23:45:00.000-08:00

Yep they are finally here.. deepavali, hari raya and christmas in dec.. The public hols are here after a 2 mth barren period.. The days u really look forward to as they are the only holidays u can have.. besides the weekends of cos.. tats one of the reasons y i miss sch so much.. the long long holidays haha.. Just too bad i need to save leave otherwise if i take leave this fri i will have a real long holiday.. from thur to monday.

K quite some time since i blogged.. quite bz lately.. So here's a quick rewind of the past few days.. hmm lets start off with fri evening where i left off at my last post..

Friday

Went to fetch them at lavender bus station then we went off, put their bags down at amos' house then went to bedok interchange to eat.. Coincidentally saw clara there.. walking to and fro dono doing wad ar.. haha yep which after we went to Princess to watch shark tale.. a show to unwind and laff urself out although i don think its worth 8.50. Thankfully for Princess the tics were at 7 bucks instead of the usual 8.50 at other theatres..

Sat

Woke up to the sound of cutting of grass.. reluctantly woke up at 9 with the sun shining so hard on my ass.. start of a series of unlucky events ar.. Went to get a hair cut.. Think it was becos of the army singlet i was wearing thats y they cut my hair so short.. i think might as well just cut botak for me la.. Then on the way to Jon's house i somehow knocked my toe against something.. causing my toe nail to come out half way.. Eventually i broke the whole nail off after training ar.. fortunately there was a new nail growing beneath .. otherwise im quite sure i will suffer for some time.. Hmm training wasnt that great.. instead of new drills tat i thought would be introduced.. we had a practice match against RP.. scored 1 goal but i shld have taken the shot earlier 1st time instead of turning him inside out before shooting.. luckily the defender din steal the ball away.. Realised i hurt my ankle a little after training.. Din even know how i did it.. Was a recurrance of an old injury i think..

That evening went to meet jon chan, amos and his parents for dinner.. walked ard then went back.. Amos got a new camera phone.. so excited he keptWonder hows he going to bring it to camp.. Haha makes me think how long ive been stuck with this nokia 6510.. coming to 4 yrs i think.. antique sia..

Sunday

Went to church as usual, quite impressed with Sam ar discovering he put his thoughts and plans into a notebook.. recently he sort of got kicked out of his business partnership with 2 other frens.. So basically wad he wrote down in his notebook was how he was going to survive financially.. hes sort of supporting himself ar without his parents help.. Then he wrote down a few financial options.. one of them was to get a part time job, another to join his other fren's business.. then wrote down some philosophies too.. quite style la.. One thing is im too lazy to do such stuff so admire his effort.. haha..

Jon taught the teenagers in bible class.. haha havoc lesson there ar.. but happening ar.. just that makes me wonder whether the teenagers will think its ok to do bad things cos the teacher did it before.. like maybe since he said, "you will definitely learn to scold vulgarities in the army" thats y they will feel its natural to scold when they enter army in future.. lol found it quite hilarious la..

went to queensway that afternoon.. was caught in 2 minds on whether to buy new boots.. in the end din wana waste money ar.. unless my 2 big toes keep getting affected by the nike boots.. Joan seems to enjoy seeing ppl spend money haha thats a first time witnessing such a thing.. think she might even be happier that the person buying the shoes sia.. lol..

OK time to end .. brain dead already.. if u noticed i was just rushing thru the typing of the happenings during the weekend.. haha don worry will put in more effort nxt time..

TGIF !!

2004-11-05T09:57:00.000-08:00

Woohoo ! It's fri, that sacred day of the week.. Finally done with all the work in office.. Here i am blogging in the office, wearing those kind of hotel slippers cos im drying my leather shoes. Still wet since yesterday. Made a mistake ar i had a choice on leaving the office earlier to collect a plaque for my branch head who is posting out mid nov.. It was raining really heavily but i thought that it would get lighter so i went to collect the plaque.. Yar unfortunately the rain did not get lighter.. It sort of got heavier sommore.. basket.. Pants were wet from shin downwards.. Quite afraid that my umbrella couldnt hold in the strong wind but thankfully it did..

I wanted to get out of office earlier so i could reach home earlier and get ready to give a short devotion last night at church.. Surprisingly i wasnt that nervous when i got up there. Was pretty nervous moments leading to my speech ..I did trip a little at the start but after that it was ok la.. Talked abt influence since i could relate to it.. Received quite encouraging handshakes and pats on the back after the bible class. But i wouldnt wana go thru it again in the near future so hope don ask me to do it again la.. haha stressful man.. Got a little diarrhoea becos of the stress.. haha pathetic..

Actually wanted to mention that i had this happy dream few nites back.. i think it was on the nite of my last post.. a Tue i think.. cant remember the details of the dream la as usual.. This might sound quite loser-like la but ya 1st time feeling so happy after a dream. I even tried to continue it when i woke up in the middle of the nite.. yep so much for that..

Wouldnt wana say much about Sg idol la.. Losing interest already.. Just watching it for the sake of finding out who will get kicked out.. haha Think they just suck la.. too much hype over them.. Last night's performance was boring to say the least.. Perhaps only Taufik's performance was not bad.. Don see the eventual winner being a very solid singer.. In fact none of them are i guess.. Im just being a hard critic right now, occasionally i get into that mood..

Joan, Grace and Jon Chan will be coming down this evening ar.. Always a refreshing feeling when they come down to Spore.. Will be meeting them for dinner.. Gota contact Amos too on whether he's able to make it.. As for now.. hopefully able to slack all the way till 5 and leave punctually.. You never know when last min arrows will fly.. Till the last min of cos..

Wise men..

2004-11-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

Yet again i attended a meeting regarding management of drugs abuse and yeah got to wear civillian clothing, although i don really like it becos had to wear formal attire. Its not like u can just wear polo tee and jeans.. In mindef u got to wear pants.. so i wore shirt and pants.. surprisingly the army uniform is more comfortable.. perhaps more used to wearing it.. That aside, the meeting was of a more senior level, which means my major was just playing a minor role.. The head of our dept, a colonel was chairing the meeting.. which was those bi-annual meeting, basically meaning it's not some ordinary meeting la, quite big scale.. It would act as a platform in reporting to the Chief of Defence.. which u can say is the highest ranking, just below the Minister for Defence.

Even though it was a 2 hr plus meeting, it was not boring at all. Maybe becos the topic was on drugs but mainly becos not much crap was said.. everything was straight to the point and had intent in almost every sentence.. Of course there is my major, sometimes cutting in to say some unconstructive stuff which i think the rest of the other more senior officers were quite patient with.. haha Yep back to the point about the solid discussion i was really impressed with the way they exchanged pointers.. especially with my head of dept.. Real steady sia.. What was discussed was really deep and occasionally there were differences in opinions.. nearly resulting in arguments but when he started speaking.. Everything seemed to be made clear, towards a constructive end and tension was resolved easily.. Seriously pro.. To me the content of discussion was already quite exhaustive to digest and yet he could understand and at the same time manage the meeting well with direction and purpose..

It was then that i thought of the word idol.. Probably why ppl idolise others is becos they cant be like those so called celebrities. They cant sing or know they cant sing as well as those singers do, or aren't as handsome as those celebrities are.. Just cant reach the standard that the 'idols' have.. For me i would definitely wana achieve that level of 'steadiness' so called that my hd of dept has.. not that i idolise him la.. haha just respect/admire that.. I guess if anyone did achieve that sort of high standards that their own idols have.. perhaps they wouldnt idolise them anymore ? But of course in the real world, that cant happen la where everyone has equal abilities.. Wah i'm thinking too much.. haha

Meanwhile i've registered a day or 2 ago for this singing competition organised by NTU.. Main thing for the money.. 1st prize if im not wrong is 800 bucks haha Its open to public so if u are interested, check this website out.. http://www.impresario2005.com/ ..

Game over !

2004-10-31T02:23:00.000-08:00

Yay end of teaching assignment haha no more stressing over the need to prepare something informative or useful to those teenage students of mine.. don have to sacrifice my own entertainment time to read up and pen down the impt points.. No more saving of voice the night before which means no singing la.. Haha basically my relac time has finally come.. esp at this period where things in office is getting real bz.. The coming week will be just that.. i expect lots of rushing of work to be done.. cant count on my colleague also cos he will be clearing leave.. so its all up to me now.. shack ar shack.. lol

Although i think i learnt quite alot over the past 3 weeks.. especially gaining some teaching experience and recapping what ive learned before.. 1st time i studied so intensively since years ago sia.. yar actually i haven really sat down to read the bible for a really long time.. quite guilty and ashamed in saying it too ar.. Those teenagers have been quite respectful la.. appreciate that.. wasnt that noisy as i would think they would be.. i hope that one day they will be in my shoes.. teaching a class.. so they will know that being a teacher is not so easy.. and respect their teachers more which is what im feeling at this moment ar..

Went out today with jac, sam, amos and jonathan.. few of us like quite broke so we just went for cheap lunch just outside the church building.. then went for window shopping and lastly just sat down to talk crap over drinks and snacks.. Talked abt some business plan ..to set up some cafe in 5 yrs times.. all of us will chip in investing.. I think i will be chipping a little but will be singing inside, hopefully with a live band perhaps.. Dont know ar.. 5 yrs is quite a long time.. and anything can happen.. but the plan sounded not bad.. although there were some stupid jokes abt it here and there.. Wonder where i will be in 5 yrs time.. If things go to plan i should already have finished university and getting out to work.. Wow.. Thats like in the very near future.. Was telling jac how i wish life just stopped at sec sch forever.. no worries and all play.. haha Wishful thinking...

Its more exciting going for training at Maju these days.. Coach seems to have a planned training schedule for us ar.. telling us that we are going to do something different.. Although we only have 5,6 ppl these 2 weeks but still its just as enjoyable la.. I think at least theres a direction for the club ar.. thats where the motivation comes.. and i believe it can only help me improve ar as a player.. rather than just playing ard in 3 v 3 or 4 v 4 games ar.. Weather was yet again very good.. I was so worried it would rain damn heavily cos the sky was so dark.. Fortunately it only drizzled ar.. Fun.. Thats all i can say.. Relight my fire..

Caught in the middle...

2004-10-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

Wasnt able to make it for Thur bible class.. Had to stay back and settle some stuff with my major.. there was quite a heated up confrontation today.. i wasnt involved of cos.. maybe not yet.. haha but it was between my major and another captain from another branch within the same dept. Basically what happened was that my major wrote an email to this chief clerk from the other branch (RAO branch).. somewhat of a slamming email, scolding her that she wasnt responsible for doing her job and pushing the work back to our branch.. This was becos my major entrusted her with the task of retrieving some data 2 weeks back..

Well she did the intial work of contacting a few ppl for the data.. but later she asked me to follow up on one of them and i agreed to call that guy up.. i din mind la.. just a phone call.. but my major thought differently.. He din agree with what had happened and thought that i was made to do the work.. that the work was pushed back into my court, that we were doing their job while we were only suppose to consolidate the data.. Yar so the captain from their branch came over la.. trying to defend his chief clerk.. I was one of the points of their tense discussion la.. as i said earlier i agreed right.. haha guess that was a mistake..

Anyway i felt my major shldnt have been so rash la.. i thought officers were supposed to have the big picture in mind.. to be constructive in their actions.. what use would it be to stir bad blood between the 2 branches when we still needed their help in future.. On the other hand was kinda grateful that apparently he was trying to sort of protect me ? or so it seems.. maybe he just din like the chief clerk's attitude of doing things.. Don really bother la.. im not in the line of fire.. Office politics can be that scary.. It just sux big time..

Yeah Azrul came by my house last nite.. played winning eleven.. power la.. its always fun playing ps 2 with a human competitor la.. instead of just playing against the computer.. In a flash 2 or 3 hrs just passed us by.. so gota stop ar.. at ard 1 am.. otherwise nxt day sure die.. Yep.. i think ive been slacking with regards to my teaching assignment .. haven prepared my lesson yet .. although ive read thru what im supposed to teach.. This sunday its going to be book of esther.. 10 chapters.. quite simple.. wonder what lessons i can draw from that.. How esther? Your book leh..? haha

Glory Glory Man Utd !!

2004-10-25T20:10:00.000-07:00

I was all geared up for work this morning mentally ready to take on whatever my major had to give me this morning.. only to receive news that he was down with flu.. damn.. All thanks to the 2-0 victory by the Devils over the Gunners, Monday felt surprisingly good..=] Yes i believe the whole world knows the results/details of the match by now.. so sweet watching the beating of our bitter rivals.. haha We shld have won our home game too last season then Arsenal wouldnt be talking about their 49 match unbeaten run.. Still I think Man U still got plenty to work on their game. The passing was still a little inferior to the way Arsenal played.. No worries.. We can only get better.. hehe

Anyway Andy and Alvin came by my house to watch the match together.. great thing when my parents are not ard.. Don have to go thru the trouble of asking permission, etc.. We had 2 hrs of winning eleven on my ps2 before watching the match itself.. They even brought tidbits sia.. and soft drinks.. Really know how to enjoy themselves.. Thankfully they din make a mess out of my place la.. Already i find it a chore to clean up my own mess.. not to mention cleaning up the mess made by others.. haha yeah so they stayed overnight till this morning they left together with me when i went off for work.. Alvin was snoring loudly on the floor when i woke up and walked out of my room.. Could even hear it from my room sia.. Dono y he slept on the floor when i had an extra bed in the guest room.. his younger bro was smarter la.. at least he took the sofa..

The lack of quality slp got to me and so i slept during lunch.. Ive been dreaming lately whenever i sleep during lunch.. usually i will just sleep thru without dreaming.. but lately its been different and my dreams would still be evolved around the office surroundings.. Scary sia.. When i woke up i was thinking whether what i dreamt of had really happened or it was just a dream.. Sorry cant remember what i dreamt of alread but yeah it was only after a while that i came to my senses then i realised i was dreaming.. haha Lawrence, my fellow colleague in the same branch is gona start clearing leave this week.. Going to be taking half days these 2 weeks.. then after that wont be seeing him till his ord date.. Signz.. makes me wonder when issit going to be my turn.. Wld be missing this buddy of mine cos i'll be all alone now.. Arrows by superiors will be all mine to take now.. Until his replacement comes.. hopefully soon..

Cool cool day...

2004-10-24T00:32:00.000-07:00

If u have noticed.. which im sure u have.. the skin of my blog has changed.. By some freak accident my original template somehow vanished.. i suspect it was because of the process of adding photos la.. So my punisher logo isnt ard anymore.. dono where to find it again also.. Yep anyway with the help of joan.. luckily managed to a new skin up.. and the tag board with some assistance from jean.. Pros.. without them i think i would have just left my blog for dead.. haha Thats the weird thing.. when i found out that there was a possibility that my blog might be gone/lost forever.. i din feel anxious.. Just frustrated when i couldnt see the blog after spending such a long time with the photos..

The weather has been real good for sleeping recently.. its been raining quite a lot.. even this afternoon.. i was feeling quite lazy.. and felt like sleeping instead of going for training.. haha Or kick about i shld say.. tats wad we have been doing the past few weeks..another reason y i thought i could give it a miss.. Well today was a different story.. Even though we had 6 of us there.. we actually had proper training thanks to coach.. finally came by to show us a thing or two.. Thankfully the weather wasnt that bad to make me decide against going.. or i wouldnt have enjoyed myself.. This was the best training in months i think.. I believe the others would agree with me too.. Its a start at least.. hopefully it continues.. After training and a quick shower i was somehow asked to sing a song.. Out of the blue sia.. haha Maybe the football session loosened me up or din really wana disappoint those who wanted to hear.. can just see it in their eyes.. so just sang a bit la.. but no more the next time.. haha unless im in the mood..

Anyway i just watched some chinese movie starring sammi cheng and andy lau with zixiang.. Gay partner for the nite.. haha yeah the movie was unexpectedly good.. there actually was some kind of plot.. unpredictable stuff.. Not a must watch show though.. dowan to reveal so much.. i think it would be an easy spoiler.. Ok gota get back to preparing tmr's lesson.. Strike 2.. then 1 last one nxt sunday.. Yay..

Pics from taiwan trip

2004-10-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

Ok finally know how to add pics.. Yes i said i would post pics of the taiwan trip in my earlier post.. So here are they.. Quite a trip.. Was back in June.. For those planning to go taiwan.. I can say its a real fine place to go.. Shop, eat, scenery, They have those.. esp the food.. hahah Anyway if u are wondering who those guys are.. they are my close sec sch frens.. few of them that i mentioned in my blog.. The girl in the pic is my god sis.. Hard to tell but shes 4 yrs older than me.. and is a karate black belt.. Representing her state Hualian in the Nation wide championship.. Don mess around with her man.. She was the one bringing us around and literally we were following her cos she was walking so fast ! Fit sia.. no surprise that shes fitter than some guys..

Anyway still got some other pics.. probably post them another time when im in the mood.. haha.. yar they say a picture paints a thousand words right.. K shall quit talking so much .. Ciao..

2004-10-20T06:46:00.000-07:00

Final day at hotel lobby..

2004-10-20T06:45:00.001-07:00

This is the hottest of them all.. Just look at the far left (munloong).. i lasted half a min in there.. Burning hot man..

2004-10-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hot springs.. this one we were in was quite comfy..

2004-10-20T06:44:00.002-07:00

Nice scenic location..

2004-10-20T06:44:00.001-07:00

If u look carefully at the table.. the bowl is covered to prevent the prawns from jumping out.. yes we eat them live..

2004-10-20T06:44:00.000-07:00

Memorial place.. Quite boring la.. Do not go. =]

2004-10-20T06:43:00.000-07:00

Ice Mango at nite market.. Power la..

2004-10-20T06:42:00.000-07:00

in front of their cultural theatre

2004-10-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

In the backgrd is the famous 101 storey shopping mall

Home alone..

2004-10-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

My mum's gona be flying off tmr 7 am.. joining my dad in china.. She will be gone for around 10 days.. so that means i will have the whole house to myself for a while.. seems quite shiok but this time round i dont know why im not looking forward to it.. Probably becos im going thru a stressful period.. it will be damn busy once my major comes back from exercise this coming monday.. not forgetting i still have to teach on sunday.. Cant wait for mid nov.. thats when i can really sit back and relax.. the storm would have blown over by then.. so 3 more weeks of hell i guess..

Life's been quite stagnant lately.. ive become a pirate and an addict to this taiwanese drama serial that im watching now.. title is Mars.. downloaded so much using bit torrent.. just added shark's tale to my collection.. already have 2046, house of flying daggers.. some korean movie,40 episodes of a hong kong drama serial.. and a few variety shows.. The thing is i haven had the time to watch the movies.. not finished with Mars and at the same time gota prepare lesson.. arggh.. Hopefully i wont get caught for this..with all the recent news going on abt the massive fines for piracy.. haha I believe the police can walk into any house which has a computer and find pirated stuff on it.. Its just so rampant these days.. The music or movie industries are definitely finding it hard to get their well deserved profits.. oh well.. haha

I just got promoted to corporal.. to me its just a crappy promotion that ties me down to another 6 mths in the army.. I really wonder how rare cases can happen where ppl get away with it by not getting promoted to corporal and not needing to serve another extra 6 mths.. y am i not that lucky ?

2004-10-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

Another part of my room

2004-10-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

My messy table

1 down 2 to go..

2004-10-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

Haha finally gotten thru teaching the 1st lesson at teenager's class.. It wasnt that bad as i expected.. although i found it difficult to catch their attention at the beginning of my lesson and at the end.. Made me recall that i was really a teacher's nightmare in the past.. me jon yiwen amos and perhaps lydia or trudy would be talking at the back of class.. i guess its payback time for me.. Its only when u become a teacher then u realise how hard being a teacher is.. A few occasions it seemed as if i was talking to myself cos they werent paying attention..quite pissing off cos i had sacrificed a lot of time just preparing this lesson.. Wonder if they even remember what i taught.. But cant be bothered la.. Quite funny i even had a brief nightmare last night.. i dreamed that i forgot to bring my notes to church.. walau.. terrible..the 1st thing i did this morning when i woke up was to put my notes and bible into my bag..

Was a good experience overall la.. really need plenty of practice.. The last time i taught was probably abt 3 yrs ago.. so i wasnt smooth in presenting.. think my thoughts came across to them as quite jumbled up.. =) Anyway 2 more to go.. hopefully i make some improvement compared to today.. After church went to catch a movie with amos.. Seems as though the youth is sort of dwindling in numbers.. Used to be quite a few of us going out.. Dono wads going on nowadays la.. all quite bz with their own lives.. Is this wad growing up is like ? lesser time for friends? maybe huh..

Training at Maju was quite ok la.. i was itching to play after 2 weeks of no football...well at least 10 ppl came.. I felt that coach was in a way quite irresponsible.. din even come to speak a word with us.. wonder wassup with him.. But i dont really care la.. ahha u just cant forget the basic joy of playing football.. To me just being there and kicking about with the rest of the guys is just good enuff.. At least there is a place and time where we can just have fun playing ard together.. rather then not playing at all.. I think quite a no. of players are quite discouraged but i guess things can only get better la ar..

Busy busy...

2004-10-14T23:32:00.000-07:00

Quite interesting that i don really look forward to the weekend.. and the nxt 2 weekends.. cos i will be teaching the teenagers bible class on sunday.. haha So there's nothing much to look forward to this month i guess... which is quite miserable.. really need a break man but i don have much leave left.. no choice just got to move on ahead.. Really bz these few days.. In the day is work as usual.. ok im not doing any work cos theres no one ard.. so im really procrastinating.. my old habit dies hard.. but at the same time this is to sort of get back at my major by ignoring his stuff that he gave to me.. haha sounds silly i guess since not finishing his work will still get me into hot soup.. yeah i really care.. lol

hmm so what have i been doing in the office then.. ive been watching this drama serial called legend of speed.. some taiwanese drama.. typical show having those lame plots with a few idols to attract easily satisfied ppl such as myself.. haha have watched 15 episodes already in the period of 3 days.. 5 more to go.. and its finally reaching its climax.. The nxt 2 or 3 days will be stressful.. Still haven finished preparing my lesson and i got to finish quite a number of assignments tomorrow to show it to my major.. Shack shack.. Yeah have been preparing this lesson the past few nights.. Sacrificing my tv time and time to go online..But its good.. being a teacher actually helps u learn more than a student does.. I just hope i don lose interest while teaching halfway.. experienced this the last time i teach.. probably becos i found that the students were not really paying attention so that might have affected me.. We shall see..

Anyway i was doing duty clerk on wed.. Policy was that during lunch time from 1-2pm, the clerk on duty had to man the office at the main entrance/exit to ensure that personnel who did not belong to our dept. wouldnt roam our office freely.. preventing theft and stuff like that.. I forgot to bring a book to read.. so i just sat there.. browsing thru some comic book on spider man that was left there for ages.. that comic certainly couldnt kill off an hr.. thankfully a major who is a lady came by and we just chatted.. Enlightening is the word to describe the conversation.. She was telling me things like what are you going to do in life. Whats your final aim or maybe job that you want to do.. so as to prevent wasting time and effort studying things thats not significant to achieving that goal..

Plus she mentioned that some of her colleagues were saying, "Oh im looking forward to my promotion," or pay rise that sort of thing.. so she was saying that these are only short term .. we shld try to see the big picture, focus on the long term goal and see where we will be in the distant future.. I dono.. might be a load of crap but it sort of struck me.. To me im living a day at a time, just trying to end this 2 yr 4 mth journey in national service as quickly as possible.. then go to uni.. get a job that is related to engineering and thats basically it.. Perhaps im just simple minded without much ambition.. but as long as im happy i think thats the important thing.. so thats me i guess..

Ironic thing is this lady major is a good fren of my major, the devil, the one who treats ppl according to his mood.. She's the opposite.. definitely not the kind who will scream at her clerks or get really impatient or upset.. I respect that.. She treats us as human beings.. not like some officers do.. Exploiting us all the way and making us their slaves.. Just too bad they cant switch places.. wouldnt mind being under her leadership.. haha

Monday Blues.. Anger Management in play..

2004-10-11T22:24:00.000-07:00

It's supposed to be exercise period.. During this period almost everyone would be going down to the area.. Except my major.. and i thought it was going to be quite a relaxing day.. even more relaxing than usual.. looking forward to watching vcds in the office.. but instead i was terribly wrong.. They say NS turns boys into men.. in my opinion the way it turns boys into men is how self control, patience, character, discipline is instilled in the 18, 19 yr old guys.. throughout the 2 or 2.5 yrs of NS.. Well for me today was an eg of how self control and patience was really put to test..=]

Yar my major chose to be the odd one out.. staying back in office .. 1st thing he did moments after settling down at his seat he came over and asked me whether i kept a photocopy of tables/ charts on this discipline data.. The 1st thing that crossed my mind was when did he ask me to photocopy that sia?.. so i tried thinking of any occasion where he asked me to photocopy stuff.. nothing came to mind but roughly had an idea what the charts were abt..Then he became quite agitated.. and asked more impatiently.. to him i seem to have this attitude problem (might be true haha im in the army!).. choosing to forget or act blur.. But to this i strongly disagree..each time he asked for things it would be in an ambiguous manner.. so i would try to decipher 1st what the hell he was actually asking for.. my thinking process probably meant to him that i was acting blur.. basket...

so i said i go look for it.. just to pacify him a bit.. i knew what the charts were abt.. but whether i photocopied those charts i had my doubts la.. if i did photocopy it and if it was in my possession which he claimed to be.. then it would most definitely be in my cupboard.. which it wasnt..in the end had to go to the discipline branch and brought the file to him.. to see which are the charts he wanted .. then i went to photocopy it.. In the end he was saying probably the head of dept took it.. The Imagination of a Man having his mid-life crisis.. old fool..

The whole day he then kept piling work for me to do as if there wasnt any tmr.. cos he would be away for 2 weeks.. I think he just didnt like the idea that i was going to be free during these two weeks.. quoting from him, "must make u do something these 2 weeks" Nice one la.. Funny why they just like giving ppl work.. Even purposely finding lame things for us to do.. When there's really nothing much to do..Actually i gotten use to his bullshit already la.. but it was the end of the day which just triggered the anger off..

It was the usual time to go off already but he called me to his cubicle.. gave me yet another thing to do.. a little discussion and again he said i always forget things when it was such a minor thing and happened so long ago.. there was a warrant officer sitting opposite him so he told me that the clerks working under him not like me.. blah blah blah.. I just laugh abit here and there la then told him that i go off 1st.. He asked me what time it was, so i said 525 sir.. then he asked .. " What time supposed to leave (guess he meant official time) ?" so i said 5 30 sir.. Then he said.. Then ? Slap in the face.. obviously trying to make things difficult for me.. I just kept quiet.. my smile was dying off my face already.. He turned to his papers on the table then turned to that warrant officer.. then asked "anything more things for him?" I think the warrant officer said, "If he can do all these gd already la" as if to say that it would be great that i could handle the orignal tasks already.. no pt adding more tasks if i cant do stuff..1st time i was so looked down upon.. What to do.. Just took it in and ignored him.. Wanted to speak up at that moment but i think i was too hot in the head.. only strong words would come out. I really restrained myself then and knowing i can easily break them din make things easier too.. i mean seriously if i was so weak that i couldnt kill an ant would i even think of hitting them? Going to university would not be possible then if i didnt control.. i just asked my major one last time that i'd go off 1st.. interrupting their conversation.. thankfully got the go ahead then i walked off..

So pissed i couldnt even sleep on the 1 hr plus journey back home.. kept thinking that i shld have questioned him whether he was saying that i was useless or any blatant criticism of that sort.. so at least i could use it to complain against him.. thats the only way of getting back at ppl with superior rank i feel.. The head of my dept also said that we clerks could complain to him if officers or whosoever slams us down without basis or something like that.. then he will go talk to the person who said that.. I think even then it wouldnt make a big deal.. so no pt.. Thats the ugly side of army.. Officers are so protected.. They behave like they are some big shot.. Becos of their rank they think they are gods.. At least some officers are like that.. Aiya no use bitching abt it.. just have to endure another 10 mths.. grr.. Gd.. this blog entry will remind me of the negative side of army..

Blown Away..

2004-10-10T01:55:00.000-07:00

Im totally exhausted and deafened.. finally getting to sit down after standing for like 6-7 hrs at the Padang.. Euphoria 04 was pretty good.. although the crowd was quite dead at times.. Munloong zixiang and i managed to get real close to the stage so we could really feel the music and the atmosphere..

The beginning was quite pathetic.. There were these 2 guys from UK.. Dee jays.. they actually did their stuff for abt 2 hrs.. before the concert kicked off for real at ard 8pm.. I probably shld have gone for training at maju but throat still kinda sore since wed and making me still feel unfit and not in a condition for rigorous football.. My phlgm was bloody sia this morning.. yucks.. That damn fish bone...Apologies still to my mates if they are reading this.. This is just a one off thing.. Will see ya guys nxt sat..

Shinhwa was up 1st .. the girls were seriously screaming for them.. couldnt blame them.. The 6 guys from korea were real lookers.. and their dance moves really turned the crowd wild.. I was a little impressed too.. even though they were a boy band.. but their vocals were not bad..

Then all 4 one came on and brought back memories with their old songs.. i swear.. i can love you like that .. so in love.. They just released a new album i think.. but nothing compared to their classic hits...

Cant remember how the sequence was already.. there were 8 acts man.. so i just list down what i can remember.. There was this Thai singer.. called Pami.. She was real pretty.. and her vocals were real good.. too bad she was singing in thai most of the time cos she had this strong powerful voice which rocked with her band.. Her singing style reminds me of the singer from Cranberries... especially when she sang Zombie.. turned the house upside down with that cover..

Machi was also there.. They sound real good live.. The crowd responded quite well to their performance.. hip hop must be the trend right now cos Machi really displayed the whole package of hip-hop.. be it break dancing.. rapping .. dressing.. they had it all..

Lena park from korea showed off her vocals well.. surprised her voice was pretty strong for a petite ger.. but what i was really looking forward to was Shin.. Everyone was singing along and just overwhelmed by their performance.. Rock n roll man.. haha what is sg idol compared to this.. rubbish ! First time ppl actually shouted encore after they finished their last song.. That was how good it was.. then came Michael learns to rock.. The last act of the show.. i din hang ard till the end.. Zixiang wanted to leave early before it was difficult leaving with the rest of the crowd.. felt he was being a wet blanket la.. but no choice.. so we just left..wasted.. i think they would have performed their songs 25 minutes or thats y u go away after we left... Those songs really bring back memories.. i even used to sing that in primary school.. in class.. haha I might have been told to shut up.. cant recall but yeah.. great show overall.. Sure to come back the next time..

I was sort of day dreaming when i was in the midst of the crowd.. Imagining myself to be on stage performing to thousands of ppl instead of being one of the many who are cheering the performers on stage.. haha dreams dreams.. Anyway really need some sleep now .. Time to dream.. =)

Cut Throat...

2004-10-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching sg idol..recorded it on video tape.. This week's theme is on rock and roll.. not the kind of rock that i would love to hear.. but it was ok la.. really oldie kind of rock.. the elvis kind.. Im with slyvester all the way !! haha look forward to his performance each week..He might be appear as a rocker wannabe to some.. always giving that 'Rock' sign with his right hand all the time.. but somehow his perfomances just makes me wana feel like voting for him.. not that i voted though haha.. judges were ok except for comments for taufik's performance.. i thought the song was made boring by him and it wasnt good.. Forever wrong with Taufik.. last week he did well but din receive good feedback and this week it was the opposite.. I just hope jerry gets out la.. totally cannot make it la.. wasting public time and especially my time even the time i take to fast forward his singing.. GET OUT !! lol

I hate getting sore throats.. You lose your appetite.. you feel a little sick or feverish cos somehow the nerves in the throat are connected to the brain.. heard this from somewhere. bio ppl pls correct me.. anyway i just got it which started on tue night.. I was having dinner at this colleague's house.. was eating the fish and it had those small bones in it.. i thought it was ok to just swallow it la.. cos the bones were really tiny.. in the end the nxt morning i could feel something stuck on the left side of my throat.. guessed it was one of the bones la.. jialat... Today felt the full effects of it.. Its either the bone was stuck or it left a cut inside my throat..I still sang yesterday though.. as in sort of train the vocals a little..might as well sing before i couldnt over the nxt 1 or 2 days.. =p

Jon's going to taiwan tonite.. Training shld be quite gruelling but he definitely can get through it la.. Physically yes.. Emotionally not so sure la ar.. haha not sure whether he can contact joan from there but he will definitely find ways and means to do that.. Weekend is coming.. ! yeah i can just smell it.. Throat just gota recover by then.. Looking forward to nxt week.. My branch will be quite empty.. gona be down at some exercise.. 2 weeks they wouldnt be in office.. except for 1 dxo.. haha 3 of us.. my colleague and i and that dxo are going to watch vcds all the way ! Downloading 2 drama serials with bit torrent already.. my colleague has already downloaded 1 or 2 also.. Yeah.. stocking up..

Unique Weekend...

2004-10-05T05:04:00.000-07:00

Weekends are the only two days that i look forward to.. Away from the crappy army life and living the decent civillian life for a while.. Last weekend was as usual packed with activities.. Din get to meet up with my sec sch buddies though.. Apparently the exams are coming soon.. but tt was the turning pt.. in the end i got to bond more with the frens outside my usual circle of frens (our killer304 gang).. which was great..

Jamming was at 2pm.. and the booking was only for an hr.. i was the only one there on time.. haha surprisingly.. cos usually i would be late when meeting munloong and the rest.. especially munloong. When im meeting him alone its a must to call him before i leave the house. I had my unpleasant experiences with him .. yeah.. There was a time i thought I was late already and i actually took a cab to find him.. I was about 20 minutes late and i went around searching for him at City hall mrt.. It was then that i received a call from him.. He was still at home.. nice one la..I had to walk around on my own and try to kill time (something ive mastered from my time in army) until he turned up.. Anyway back to the jamming.. Supposed to be an hr and we couldnt extend the timing .. All the slots were fully booked already.. The whole band was ready at only 2 20 so no choice ar we only jammed for 40 minutes.. not enough ar.. not shiok.. lol.. Ok the plus points was the addition of this keyboardist and i felt that i could hit higher than i could previously.. Quite cool jamming with a keyboardist and it was a 1st time for me.. Made the song "Always" sound much better.. =)

We won the 9 a side final but too bad we did not get a fair fight la.. Outnumbered the other team by 2 players which is a very significant number.. But anyways finally got a medal.. wouldnt complain abt that haha.. So instead of going to town after training to meet the guys, i went out with jerrad and azrul, the closer frens in maju.. Brought me to their secret food place.. totally enjoyed the food la.. gota go back there again.. haha After which we went to watch Resident Evil 2.. Not bad a show maybe becos theres milla jovovich and another actress sienna were in it.. lol

COurt soccer was off on sunday.. Due to a large number of ppl giving that kind of unconfirmed replies like "see how", "see first", "confirm tmr".. These replies are really a turn off and shows how the organiser is taken for granted.. And i wasnt even supposed to be the organiser !! haha what a joke.. I sort of handed the organising duties to someone else already.. It was already quite a tedious process msging everyone.Still ppl would give that sort of replies and complain to me when some were late.. Thats why i make it a point not to give these kind of 50-50 answers la.. understand the difficulty of being an organiser haha.. i mean how to organise when everyone cant confirm that they are going.. sure cancel right?

So i hanged out at jon's house for a while before we went to the lan shop just outside his house.. Not bad i wasnt that rusty playing CS.. still could 'kill' some.. but the more memorable part of that session was the pranks i played.. i was trying to use msn messenger and was automatically signed in as another user.. some indian fella who was so smart he set his msn to auto log in with his identity whenever the msn messenger was being used.. At a public gaming shop sommore.. the devil in me just took over la.. haha and i went to reply an email sent to that indian fellow.. Ok the initial email sent to that guy was something like this, "Hope you are doing fine in military service.. i will be flying over on 7 Nov.. take care .. cya.".. This was what i replied, "National service sux.. so do u.. do not fly over on 7 nov.. terrorists will bomb the plane.. trust me.. i know.."

The funny thing is that when i tried to go onto friendster.. the same thing happened ! This time it was some foreign guy.. probably indo-chinese.. Wow these ppl just love getting screwed by pranksters like me.. haha he had 8 friends at 1st.. in the end .. he was left with one.. i sent a msg to the only fren he had left in his account saying, "Don act cute.. grow up la.." Jonathan changed his profile and made it more interesting.. such as fav movies - anything RA.. Then we left.. Of cos before that i checked that my msn wouldnt log in under my username..haha to top the day off.. we watched white chicks.. i think you can just die laughing watching it la.. Oh wana recommend a movie.. its called jersey girl by ben affleck, liv tylor, j lo., jason biggs.. its really good.. trust me...

Never say goodbye...- Bon Jovi

2004-10-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

Went to send jason off at the airport last night.. He's going to be spending 3-4 yrs in the UK, studying law at Oxford.. You shld have seen the number of ppl who came to say their goodbyes.. probably more than the reception that william hung would get when he reached spore.. haha probably ard 50 ppl came.. just a rough estimate.. relatives, frens from army, college,sec sch,church members all turned up.. he was finding it hard to talk to anyone and was telling me that he was feeling quite bad seeing some of his frens standing on their own.. but no choice ar.. there were just too many ppl to 'entertain'... can see how popular this guy is la.. haha really nice guy.. who has been the elite all this while since young.. went to RI and RJ then became an officer and now Oxford on scholarship.. pretty cool just thinking abt it.. probably nxt time he will become some big time lawyer.. shall see.. no teary goodbyes though.. for the exception for one i think.. not his mum but his cousin.. haha i wonder why.. which is good la cos i would hate to see ppl crying here and there.. so drama sia.. lol

not long afterwards i send another fren of mine off.. the number of ppl who sent him off wasnt as many but still has the same heart warming effect la i guess.. think he teared a little when he left...he was an ex colleague in MINDEF.. going to take the same flight as jason.. off to imperial college on scholarship.. yet another smart alec.. makes u feel like a loser in comparison.. haha no wonder my mum told me when i was just a kid not to compare.. i think if i remember correctly she told me this as a reason not to get a toy for me as i was complaining, "how come he got that and i dont have?" haha yar but anyway the point is you shldnt be comparing with others all the time la.. just do the best u can and leave it at tat.. tats my own opinion ar..

anyway jason will be coming back to visit in june or july.. by that time i would be going to ord.. so quite looking forward to that.. already yiwen aint around in church.. now another is gone.. 2 extremes.. 1 is wild while another is so goody.. haha hope no more goes away la but u can never tell.. tats life i guess...

Constipation...

2004-09-30T16:36:00.000-07:00

i dont think i have written any sick/gross stuff yet in my blog so heres a first.. haha don like reading sick stuff?suggest you skip this paragraph before continuing.. yar as the title of today's entry states, i just went to the toilet and had constipation.. must have not drank enough water.. don u guys just love a good crapping session in the toilet..? sort of relaxing i find haha a friend of mine told me once before that one of his favourite pleasures of life is to have a good shit.. laughed like hell when i heard that.. but can relate to it now la.. i hate it whenever i kena this.. especially when im in a rush and it's like not going to come out.. =p making things difficult for me.. lol mixed emotions la - it's frustrating and irritating at the same time..

guess i've been feeling like this the past few days.. more irritated though..cranky mood..dont know y... probably becos of the soccer incident on sunday.. been easily agitated and resistive feeling towards adults since sunday.. hope i go back to my normal self cos its not really healthy feeling like that..forgot to mention something about that particular sunday.. i was supposed to help take over song leading on sunday.. cos it seemed that uncle jeng sang didnt recover from his sore throat.. in the end i got samuel to help me as my parents werent ard that weekend so there was no transport and i didnt want to wake up extremely early to reach church.. of course i would return the favour to sam la.. but i thought that uncle jeng sang shld be the one to replace samuel the nxt time samuel is serving.. so i asked one of the uncles in the glorification dept (dept who plans the schedules for men to serve) whom i agreed to help take over.. "since samuel helped take over uncle jeng sang then the nxt time he serve, could u ask uncle jeng sang to cover?" i was a little stunned with this reply "nolar, let him serve again lor".. i repeated my qn and got the same reply.. felt a little betrayed la since i was orignally the one who agreed to do this 'favour'.. yar i felt that this 'favour' shld be returned.. somehow i feel that if an adult was asked instead, i definitely think that particular uncle will get uncle jeng sang to replace.. maybe we youths are not on the same level ? or at least not treated with the same respect.. little dissappointed and angry afterwards.. so leave it like that ar.. gota take over sam the nxt time he serves..

told my mum that night abt it.. the soccer incident and the other song leader story.. cant remember what she commented abt the latter part.. i was bz playing my ps 2..think she was more concerned about the soccer part.. cos i said nearly fight.. she asked if i was going back to the same place nxt sunday i said yes.. and we were going to call more ppl down.. and bring along parang etc.. hahaha just to scare her abit la.. quite evil of me.. enjoy watching my mum's reaction.. hehe..

anyway i came across this blog of a 19 yr old ger today.. finally found something more interesting to read.. been going thru blogs and they are mainly on politics.. bush and dono wad la.. wah cannot take it.. she was blogging openly abt her feelings after her breakup.. that she still misses him and all even after 2 yrs?.. touchy stuff.. quite admirable i find.. i dont think i can post such personal stuff on the web.. still gota have some personal space la i feel.. im looking forward to this weekend.. gona be jamming again.. and yes theres the 9 a side soccer final.. hope we kick maju B's ass ! haha

Game of death..

2004-09-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

ive gota wake up at 2.30am wed morning to hopefully catch wayne rooney in action for man u.. so lets make this quick.. its only tue and i cannot take it anymore.. boredom in office is really killing me so much so that i had run out of websites to surf.. haha anyway one of my colleagues who is going to ord soon sent out an email, trying to organise an outing to play counterstrike or some other computer games.. Counterstrike (cs), a 1st person shooting game that pits ur reflexes and wits against other human players such as yourself.. it has been ages since i last touched this game.. this game literally changed my life.. so when they were talking abt the cs outting, some memories just flashed across my mind..

1st time i came in contact with this game was way back in sec 4 i think.. thats like back in 1999.. if im not mistaken a fren in church introduced this game to me.. it was paul and samuel.. paul organised a cs outing, an overnite thing at some lan shop in katong.. we played for 12 hrs man.. 8pm to 8 am.. i can still remember the timing.. at 8 am, i walked out of the shop staggering ard like a drunkard.. tt was how shack i was haha.. i think jonathan(freak) and yiwen (lenny) were also there.. their nicknames are the ones in brackets besides their names.. mine was simply boy.. lol thats y my email has boy inside(sad_boy2000@hotmail.com).. and im not really sad.. sad actually stands for search and destroy.. a clan which was formed between me jonathan samuel and paul... quite funny to think that we actually did such lame stuff back then... i was hooked onto the game.. and when the lan shop near jon's house just opened for business.. i started to go there almost everyday even into the 1st yr of junior college.. played so much that i scewed up my 1st yr of college.. din do any tutorials.. slept during the lectures cos i was tired out by playing too much cs.. and so i retained.. the yr i retained was really hard for me.. probably one of the lowest pt of my life.. i even contemplated giving up jc and going to poly.. thankfully thru my parents support and a few other members of the church such as uncle lai huat who came to my house to talk to me i pulled thru.. although i sort of scraped thru to year 2 of college.. haha i was still playing cs the yr i retained.. old habits die hard la.. it was only during my a level yr that i stopped completely..

made plenty of frens in cs.. some i still keep in contact till today.. few of them still continue playing the game.. most have moved on la.. ppl might be surprised when i say that i don regret retaining.. might sound like im comforting myself for being a loser in a way.. spending a yr more than what was necessary.. guess they sort of look at u in a different way when u tell them u retained.. haha but i don really care la.. yar as i said no regrets.. i don believe in regretting what i do.. what's done has been done.. and without the experiences that i went thru in retaining i don think my character will be what it is today.. not that im saying that my character is good la but im satisfied with what it is.. although theres still plenty of room for improvement.. yes i wasted a yr.. missed out on strengthening frenship with my yr 1 frens.. couldnt enter uni at the same time as my sec sch buddies, probably made my parents lose face.. blahblahblah.. but i made many more frens, got to perform on stage alot more times(so wad right haha) although i got some stupid reputation for being jay chou.. argh cant stand that.. yar and my results turned out for the better.. i don think i would have made it if they let me promote to yr 2 in college.. my A levels would definitely be screwed with a lousy foundation..

haha that phase of cs and college life will be quite unforgettable.. just hope ppl reading this will not neglect the more impt things in life by being distracted with mundane pleasures/activities of this world.. i was a victim once.. so learn from my mistakes.. =)

Respect the elderly??

2004-09-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

Warning : Long Grandfather story.. Read unless u are really bored..

Usually i would enjoy my game of court soccer on sunday afternoons but today was an exception.. It rained at ard noon time.. our game was at 3 so i was relieved when the rain stopped by 1pm.. the sky was still dark though.. and true enough it rained after we played for about half an hr.. we hung ard in the shelter since it was still quite early.. there were 2 bball courts..once the rain stopped we continued on the bball court nearest from where we were hanging ard.. guess we were the only guys playing..this court at nyjc was not bad.. dried up quickly especially when we were running around on the court.. if it was at my former secondary sch, we could just pack up and go cos u cant even run ard on that court.. so it started drying up as we played and there were only a few patches of damp ground.. that was when 2 or 3 middle aged guys came into our bball court...

actually the court which we were playing on was the usual court which some middle aged uncles would be playing bball.. every sunday they would play on that court.. anyway we just ignored those 3 guys cos they werent really affecting much la.. but we were a little irritated.. it was quite logical they could have gone to the other empty court since we were playing on this court.. it was until more of their grp of frens started coming into our court and they were putting newspaper on the ground to dry up half of the bball court that we thought that we shld point out that they were sort of 'invading' our territory and asked them to kindly go to the other court.. then the argument began..

they began to say that that was THEIR court.. they were playing on that particular court for 15 yrs.. since they were 16 yrs of age.. and they said "thought you guys shld know".. zixiang then told them that we din mind going to the other court but it was wetter than the court we were presently playing on.. and we were the ones responsible for making our court drier by playing on it for some time.. they started saying they were also making effort to dry the court (the newspapers they put on the grd) ,that bball courts are meant for playing bball.. and that previously there was a sign that stated no soccer was allowed on the bball courts.. so we said wheres the sign now ? and some of us (not me) were ex students of the sch so we argued y couldnt we play on our court.. we din really argue on the fact that soccer could be played anywhere la.. doesnt mean bball court is only meant for bball right.. yar primary usage is bball but it can be used for soccer.. other courts do practise that too.. basically they wouldnt budge so we just carried on.. we said we were just going to shoot.. even if it meant hitting them.. they said ok but if theres any fight or what then they dono ar.. tension building..

not long after yet another confrontation, apparently munloong got a shot and hit some guy.. that guy was quite pissed and demanded that we can shoot and all that but they were not to be hit or else.. (yar yar yar) i was sitting out at that time.. wasnt time for my team to play but i went onto the court together with zixiang when we saw the situation getting heated up.. our exchanges were kind of loud i guess.. maybe im the only one talking in a calm manner.. trying to make our pt.. some ugly words were spoken.. mostly on their side.. the guy who got hit started saying "if i was 15 yrs younger i would have wacked you".. i think i said don talk abt 15 yrs ago la.. talk abt now.. then he said ok i stand here u come over and wack me.. i just ignored him and took him for a lunatic la.. another one of them kept saying in hokkien.. don talk so much just fight la.. but the rest of the grp ignored him.. actually only 1 or 2 were asking for it la.. the rest of the uncles were still trying to reason properly.. otherwise i think we would have just gave the fight to them la.. or just rammed the ball at them etc..

in the end we just carried on playing.. they played their bball we played our soccer.. the mood was spoiled already.. munloong and a few others stopped playing already.. only zixiang and i carried on.. the goal we were shooting at were congested with those uncles la.. so we could only dribble into the goal to score.. sianz.. some farnee scenes i can remember and let me put this down.. haojie (my sec sch mate) wanted to call the police.. i asked him for wad.. he said cos they take our court.. hahaha i was saying listen to urself don u think u sound stupid.. another instance was that munloong wanted to stop playing and move to the other side.. but before that he wanted to take water and wet the place area where those ppl were playing on.. madness.. we stopped him la cos it would be our fault then being unreasonable..

maybe u could ask y din we move then.. i guess we wanted to stick to our so called principles, leaving would just make them seem right to themselves.. and make their 'intimidation' to succeed.. you could say we were stubborn la.. but for a cause at least.. in our opinion.. respect the elderly.. yes we did.. otherwise we wouldnt be talking to them nicely.. although we were disgusted with 1 or 2 of them.. they certainly didnt deserve the respect man.. i mean some adults (as the older generation) seem to think that since they are older we need to respect or even listen to them.. like they OWN us..maybe to the point that any tiny kind of resistance on our part would be unacceptable.. i think thats where the statement "respect needs to be earned" comes in.. i will be rude if ever i come across adults who behave in that sort of arrogant manner.. even if this happens in the church.. it did before i guess.. minor thing so controlling myself was rather easy.. hmm maybe its always the case where the youth will think of the older generation as some sort of enemy.. well i dono.. gota keep reminding myself not to become that kind of 'uncle' that expects the younger ppl to treat him like a god.. lol

it's a beautiful day..

2004-09-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

weather is perfect for soccer later.. quite lucky cos it has been unpredictable, raining sometimes and yet sunny on certain days.. anyway shall blog before i go for my lunch (will make this a quick one haha hungry..) otherwise wont have time to blog for the whole day.. i think my buddy jonathan's msg on the tag board is one of the reason im writing here so u shld be honoured la ar..

i was online till 3 plus last nite.. just too tired to think of what to write on my blog.. i tried but i just closed the window of the internet explorer.. haha went to watch midnite movie with zixiang at tampines.. original plan was to catch it at city hall.. marina gv or at suntec.. he was having some project meeting with 2 other gers when i came.. gave me an idea of how my sch mates (gers) will be like nxt yr.. i only can say 'so young' haha ard 18 or 19 i guess.. nxt yr i will be 22.. so prob ard 3-4 yrs difference.. guess im too used to seeing and interacting with the office ladies in mindef la.. hopefully can adjust back when i go nus.. yar they were taking quite some time with their project la.. zixiang was telling me "it would be short" in his sms.. yar right.. by the time we reached marina gv it was too late and the theatre was under renovation.. wad a lucky nite.. haha so we headed back to locate the gers again to continue the discussion.. somehow i feel that its all preplanned by zixiang.. womaniser.. haha nah im just playing ard.. ok in the end we went to tampines to catch the midnite show so the taxi fare wouldnt be that much.. the new police story was not bad.. typical jackie chan movie.. quite funny with lots of action.. can say that the 8.50 was worth it la.. been some time since i last saw jackie chan in action..

ok looking at the msg that jonathan posted saying erm i write better than i talk ar.. haha maybe i can sort of edit the kind of crap that im posting so it looks more readable la.. im definitely not much of a writer la.. whateva i think i just write.. and i guess i don talk much when im with my church frens ar.. as in talking openly .. my deepest thoughts or feelings ar.. can give a few reasons at the top of my head.. hmm too tired perhaps.. lydia also thinks it's better talking to me on msn.. haha cos on sunday im always giving those one-liners or just laughing the subect of conversation off.. haha sleepy la ar.. don kaciao a tired man..i dont really feel like talking on sundays.. a bit better now la.. probably getting closer to the church ppl.. i think.. but then again i cant really have those heart to heart talks.. just not on the same level i guess.. not that gam (as in buddy buddy kind) .. thats y they say in a person's life, the number of good friends that he has and i mean really tight frens are less than 10.. i have to agree with that statement..

oct is going to be quite bz for me la.. gota prepare to teach the teenagers bible class.. arggh.. half of me dreads it and the other half is willing to take the challenge.. seriously i would rather sing to the class than speaking to it.. haha that would be weird and most likely i wont get asked to teach again.. haha.. then in november will be giving devotion in thur bible class.. cant hide anymore already haha been telling my dad to push it to the nxt month and then the nxt month.. haha guess 'the nxt mth' is finally here.. time to talk some sense on stage now besides crapping away on a daily basis.. =p ok im starving....

You're the meaning in my life.. you're the inspiration....

2004-09-23T23:50:00.000-07:00

been a few days since i last blogged.. haha slacking off already.. actually i've been either too tired or i came home late which was on tue.. my former college frens gave me a treat.. just the 3 of us.. swensens again.. but its ok la.. i was given the choice so i chose that.. din wana make my fren pay so much.. otherwise we would be eating sushi and i would definitely eat till the bill totalled to a scary amount.. haha yep tired becos i went for a run yesterday.. the last time i ran was fri.. so my body just wasnt used to the usual 6 rounds around the camp.. which is abt 5 km ? always discipline myself to run(which is quite rare cos i seldom discipline myself to do things) not just becos i dowan to gain weight, but also to make myself fit for playing soccer, its better for singing and for the various other health reasons la.. etc etc haha

today was actually going on quite well la.. just that i received last minute arrows from my boss to fax some documents.. eventually i left the office half an hr later than i shld have.. couldnt be helped la.. whereas there were times i was made to stay back in office at the very last min to do really mundane stuff where i seriously believed the officer could have done it himself.. he just made me stand beside the printer and hand the printouts to him.. who wouldnt get pissed off? anyway don wana complain so much.. i mean i wouldnt like to sit and hear someone complain all the way ar.. can be quite irritating.. =) just carry on la.. wont let this kind of thing get me down.. pathetic la if it did.. i guess thats me.. always looking at the positive side of stuff ar.. hmm only thing is that i think when im really down.. its gona take some time to pick myself up again..

ok just watched sg idol yet again.. every thur im always inspired by the contestants.. makes me wana go and compete man.. but i hold myself back each time.. maybe its becos of fear la but i think its mainly more of my preference of music.. definitely prefer the band kind of music like i said before.. if i wana make it, will make it with a band.. not just as a solo artist.. this weeks sg idol was somewhat different.. they brought back the ppl who couldnt make it into the top 30.. basically means those that din have enough talent or zero talent at all.. haha there was this person with speech defect singing a duet with a deaf lady.. quite touched.. they really wanted to make an impact on the ppl who were watching.. and proving a pt.. in my opinion they were trying to prove that being handicapped didnt mean u couldnt make a difference to ppl's lives.. i believed they proved that pt la.. hopefully i myself can make a difference to ppl's lives.. maybe not thru music (ahha that would be a dream come true) but maybe in other aspects.. we shall see..

lazing ard on an off day

2004-09-20T17:09:00.000-07:00

yep thx to my major i get to wake up at ard 11 plus today.. and i still felt like sleeping sommore .. haha its been a long time since im able to slp so much.. maybe the last time was before i enlisted for national service.. thats like a yr ago? been slacking ard at home the whole day.. watching vcds and twins concert that i downloaded on bittorrent.. haha anyway ive been rather bz the past two days.. no time to blog.. so let me try to recall from memory wad happened... hmm...

saturday---Stepping into adulthood...

finally 21.. haha but its like just another normal bday to me.. not that excited as i think i shld be feeling..i don feel that reaching 21 means im finally an adult.. age doesnt matter ar.. more of the mind and how u think that matters.. but still feels not bad la receiving quite a number of gifts from my parents.. they had been asking me what i wanted past few weeks i said dont know or anything ar.. usually the previous yrs i would have chosen what i wanted and asked them to buy for me.. looks like ive run out of what i want to buy.. haha.. last yr was some hi fi set i think.. previous yr was an md... so they chose to pass me stuff that i could use on a daily basis.. such as a towel, underwear? ahha and a shaver.. clothes.. and lots of red packets man.. boy am i loaded.. haha.. went out to lunch with them at country manna.. been a long time since i had soup with the pastry on top of the soup.. power la.. the last time was when i treated my mum on her bday.. the restaurant apparently was closing.. closing date is today if im not wrong.. wonder why they are closing down.. seemed to be doing quite well..

evening time met my sec sch buddies.. treated them to billy bombers.. ended up i got the best choice of mix grill.. munloong ordered meat loaf but he couldnt eat beef cos hes a buddhist so zixiang sacrificed la switching his chicken for the meatloaf.. farnee cos zixiang had been laughing at munloong's meat loaf and in the end he had to eat the meatloaf himself.. he couldnt finish it even after passing a little to me.. not that bad la i think but too much can be a little sick la.. they got me a wallet and a quicksilver bag for sch nxt yr.. haha might have spent quite a bit so no wonder they wanted to rip me off at dinner.. lol.. but its ok ar.. guess its a once a yr thing.. bday ppl in our grp gota sort of 'suffer' on their day.. haha movie was also on me then.. i din mind treating but the movie sucked big time la.. we had a choice of the ghost, 3 extremes and dodgeball so we chose 3 extremes.. jialat la the movie.. wouldnt explain further.. just don watch it.. unless u are a sucker for watching stupid shows...

Sunday--- whole day out..

sunday service as usual but a little different today cos joan was present.. great committment shown there for their distance relationship.. haha actually ok la not that long a distance ar.. heard from amos that his gf might be going back korea to study.. that shld be harder to meet up man.. don think u can just fly over to korea for the weekend and fly back for ns huh.. buts its ok.. she can fly over during her hols i guess..

so we had a farewell lunch for jason in the afternoon plus some support grp meeting.. jason will be leaving oct 1 for uk.. gona be studying law in oxford.. smart guy sia.. he's always been the elite since young.. studying in the top schools and even in army he was an officer..will be missing a great fren then.. one of the youth who's really active in the church.. one i really look up to.. a role model la basically..quite encouraged when he's doing stuff .. that sort of acts as a motivation for me.. haha feel a little guilty too cos its like im doing nothing la in comparison..

after the meeting i went for the jamming session.. quite a coincidence i met a girl whom i got to know when i worked at a gaming shop just before i enlisted for army.. my frens at the shop and i used to call her chen huiling cos she looked like the singer from afar.. did a little catching up with her..her frens were jamming songs by beyond.. i got her contact and asked whether i could sit in on her frens nxt jamming session.. maybe i can get to sing in haha anyway as expected my own jam session wasnt smooth at all.. probably cos not everyone was familar with the songs.. even the guitarist.. but ok la i think its not easy playing under pressure especially when hes playing with 3 others whom hes not really close to.. we ran out of songs to play after a while.. so tried playing ard with a few songs outside our selected list of songs.. such as fixing a broken heart, a beyond song and some others.. our only decent song was dont cry cos my bassist and drummer and i jammed this song back in college.. haha performed this song for some guitar night in college.. i totally screwed up the last part of the song when u have to scream.. at least now i was able to reach the high parts.. haha having this little sense of achievement.. but lack the stamina la.. after 1 hr plus i was like dying.. maybe shldnt have picked so many challenging songs.. nvm.. nxt jamming is in 2 weeks time.. shld be an improvement from today la..gona add 2 more songs.. hallowed be thy name by iron maiden and prob another song by metallica..

after jamming i went to meet up with youth from church.. abt 10 of us turned up.. we went to marche and really ate until shiok sia.. especially the ice cream with waffle and brownie..yum yun.. wad a sinful night of eating.. haha still gota say this even though someone might kill me ar.. then we went to watch dodgeball.. wad a mad show .. a laugh till u drop show.. definitely much better than the 3 extremes which i watched the day before.. though i kinda stopped laughing that much towards the end.. must have been too tired already..

treat at bukit panjang plaza

2004-09-18T01:53:00.000-07:00

my branch ppl treated me to swensons today for lunch.. some sort of tradition ar.. chief clerk and officers kept trying to fake me that becos im 21 then i shld be treating.. haha i was a little convinced at 1st so was a bit scared la.. cant imagine how much cash i had to cough out sia.. at least 200 bucks .. sweat... hmm so it finally got to the singing of the bday song.. damn embarrassing la.. the last time ppl sang a bday song for me was at some macdonalds when i was probably under 10 yrs of age.. felt warmed by my branch's gesture .. saw some unity in the branch for a change haha well they wanted to throw whipped cream at me so i chose to do something else - eat some disgusting stuff that they prepared.. i had to eat a cookie which had whipped cream ar, salt, pepper, ketchup chilli .. tartar.. on top.. sick sia.. drank alot of water straightaway but the aftertaste was still there.. jialat sia haha anyway my major gave me a present sia.. quite shocked but really thankful and grateful la.. gave me a box which contained wallet belt pen and key holder.. and he gave me the whole of monday off.. felt touched man.. usually bday off is only 1/2 a day but he just gave me the whole day la.. hahaha thats how nice he is when he's in a good mood.. hope hes always in a good mood =p

well after that we went bowling.. dono who planned it though.. bowling's not really my kind of game but ok la i din mind playing it once in a while.. got a blue black on my knuckle on the 4th finger.. lousy ball.. lol in the 1st game i kept feeding the drain the bowling ball.. haha even lost to my chief clerk man.. pathetic.. my score couldnt even reach 70 i think... haha thats how bad it was.. then it was the second game.. and we made a frenly wager between the 2 lanes.. in my lane.. there was a maj, a dxo and my fellow clerk.. the other lane was my branch head.. my major whom im under .. chief clerk and another dxo.. the grp that lost would buy the other grp drinks.. i was stressed sia as i was obviously the weakest link.. then it just happened..i got a strike on my 1st throw.. haha and i got a double towards the end.. eventually getting 115 pts.. 2nd highest in my grp.. i know still not that good la as compared with others but the impt thing was we won the wager.. haha it was thrilling when something is at stake.. enjoyed myself today.. guess my branch bonded quite a bit.. tts good.. there shld be more of this kinda outings man but its just wishful thinking on my part la.. haha

rock never dies !!!

2004-09-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

wild card competition just ended .. turned out that maia and beverly were the judges' choices.. and sylvester was spore's choice.. haha quite surprised that sylvester came thru.. thought he was the dark horse for the day.. he sang 'when i look into your eyes' by firehouse.. little weak for a rock performance but ok la quite a decent performance.. think he attracted the crowd with his attitude more than anything else.. quite farnee to watch.. but at least theres a rocker in the house ! haha i guess my fren in office must be quite happy.. his maia got thru.. haha a 21 yr old single mum.. another fantasia in the making perhaps? wasnt really excited abt this week's sg idol.. probably becos im not watching it live but on video tape.. was just fast forwarding thru the tape to roughly get an idea of how the performances were.. no choice have to tape the show every thur cos theres bible class at nite.. but its ok.. no big deal...

in office it was extremely quiet work-wise.. really had nothing to do but surf the net or the forums in the army's own intranet.. was really running out of websites to surf sia.. haha so i was just going from one blog to another.. came across this blog which was quite interesting i find.. worth a look.. its zenith20.blogspot.com.. i met an old pri sch classmate on msn today.. haven talked to him for a really long time.. he had our class photo as his msn pic.. all of us were so tiny and cute sia.. i wasnt in the foto though ... remembered that my dad brought me to china or taiwan during the last part of primary 6.. it was the period after our PSLE and before collecting our results.. quite a waste as i didnt get their contacts or had any autograph book signed that sort of thing.. primary sch was filled with happy memories man.. i still can remember some stuff abt it although it was a long time ago.. i had all my classmates signatures on my soccer ball that i brought to sch.. even had my teacher sign on it.. haha just too bad u cant be forever young huh.. couldnt catch up much with my fren (name is joseph btw).. he had an assignment to do and so gota rush off..

yar as i was saying work wise it was rather quiet but office politics wise it was getting quite steamy la.. dono the exact details la.. but its basically like everyone cant really get along with everyone la.. for me i cant be bothered la.. just wana finish my time here.. only my chief clerk gets on my nerves sometimes cos shes really particular with stuff thats so minor and insignificant.. for eg. yesterday i left my major's medical receipt on her desk to claim.. she wasnt ard yesterday so she saw it today.. then straightaway started questioning me on y i left it on the table.. what if it went missing.. blah blah blah.. early in the morning and i gota listen to all these crap.. who in the right mind would want to steal a medical receipt?! seriously doubt that ppl in our dept would be so childish to sabo our own ppl by taking that away.. anyway i just took the medical receipt to photocopy it before i could hear any more that would spoil my mood.. ok my chief clerk aint that bad la... besides this flaw she's basically a nice person... looking out for us.. i suppose its her motherly nature thats y shes naggin ? haha for our own good u might say .. but sorry man.. i already cant tahan nagging from my own mum.. still gota undertake nagging in office.. haha want me to die ah.. =p

in a flash..

2004-09-15T23:56:00.000-07:00

just got home after a ktv session.. finished singing ard 1130 and came back ard 12.. quite surprised and grateful that the taxi driver took the fastest route and drove as fast as he could and i think he was speeding at times.. my taxi fare from orchard to tampines was just under 10 dollars sia.. respect him man..a lot of taxi drivers that i come across always try to leech me of my cash by driving slower or by taking a longer route.. there was one that came up with a lame excuse.. he was driving on the long stretch of road along temasek poly.. at like 20 m/hr ?? i was commenting out loud, " walau, like a snail's pace leh".. the driver could still come up with this lame excuse saying there is a speed detector along the road and he could get fined.. i was like.. kao.. give me a better reason ar.. then i told him "uncle u look at all the cars ard u.. like that they sure kena fined la.." and he could still tell me that if they wana get fined thats their problem.. basket.. wana earn my money i give u the extra 50 cents or wad la.. don waste my time la...

yar anyway the singing quite pathetic la.. voice was quite unstable and like thinner than usual.. could it be becos im wacking the high notes too hard every day? went with zixiang and munloong.. think the last time we went as a grp was when the taiwanese frens came over.. was ripped off sia by the party world ktv.. 70 bucks for like 4 hrs including drinks and all that... on a weekday nite ! stunned sia when saw the bill.. the initial price was supposed to be 46.. dono how they add up till 70 sia.. will never go there again unless we have the coupon for free singing where u only pay for drinks.. but ok la at least enjoyed la.. had a good laugh listening to them go off tune sometimes.. lol evil me.. maybe cos im a little grouchy now ar...

today passed by in a flash.. cos there was this dialogue session with the head of our dept (a colonel).. this lasted for 2 hrs.. and it just passed by so quickly i din notice it.. moreover we got to go off at 4 for our own exercise cos every wed there is this fixed time for our own exercise.. so the time for work was like in a way significantly reduced ar today... this session was for us to voice out our comments or complaints ar.. i just kept quiet during the whole session.. nothing for me to say.. my life in my own branch was so slack already.. so i just left it to the other guys in the other branches to say their piece of mind la.. but really admire our dept head la.. the way he handled the questions from my colleagues.. very wise and tactful.. think thats one of the reasons how he rose up to colonel.. besides the paper qualifications.. quite priviledged to be able to even talk to a colonel la.. not many can have this chance like me.. every 3 mths to go voice out concerns or complains etc to the boss.. haha

package from taiwan..

2004-09-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

my mum showed me a package the moment i got back.. quite big.. perhaps 1.5 times A4 size.. wonder wad size that is.. it was from taiwan.. haha quite obviously it was from my god sis la.. she was telling us that she was sending us stuff, in particular the videos and photos that they took over here.. anyway we opened it and there were lots of 'gifts' sia... some for the church members, burned cds which contained vids and pics for me and my buddies munloong and zixiang who brought my godsis and other taiwanese frens ard.. wonder how much she spend sia.. must have been quite a bit man.. also received big big bday card in advance.. with well wishes from all of them who came down to spore.. including a 12 yr old and a 6 yr old ger.. haha quite touched la although i don care abt birthdays.. appreciate the gesture man.. got to get the 12 yr old something in return.. her bday's also coming on the 22nd this mth.. hmm but 1st gota get her address from my godsis.. she passed me the videos that she and her cousin recorded when we went for ktv session.. anyone interested can ask me.. but im not that willing to 'distribute' them yet so see how la ar.. pics i will post shortly once i know how to.. lol

meaningful story---

posted this story yesterday..quite liked it .. moving one.. few thoughts just came to mind after reading the story.. obcession with wealth or materialism can make a person neglect the more meaningful stuff in life.. such as relationships with ppl that is to say frenship and kinship..this is one lesson i hope never to forget.. u can be the most successful person in the world but so what if u cant maintain any relationships with others.. i guess frens to me are quite impt.. thankful for having sec sch buddies who've been with me thru quite the yrs.. haha can say almost half my life.. not forgetting some of the frens from church.. i guess my sec sch buddies and myself know this importance of our frenship or brotherhood with each other.. always make a pt to meet up every week and hopefully this will continue till we get old ? haha its never easy to maintain relationships .. definitely gota make effort not only from urself but from the other party..

yeah jamming finally settled to be held this sunday.. no choice gota skip playing soccer.. my drummer only can make it on weekends, hes an officer in tekong and nxt weekend my bassist is gona be flying off to thailand for a short holiday.. so this sunday it is.. time to make some noise.. haha.. thx to my new found guitarist eddie for booking the studio.. although he kept misunderstanding me.. i kept saying this sunday evening but he kept replying "so this sat at 1 pm?".. wah dono wads wrong with him sia or was my sms too chim.. haha buts its all history.. looking forward to the weekend now..

meaningful story..

2004-09-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

got this story from another blog which my colleague intro to me..not bad i find.. quite a real depiction of what is going on in society..this is the exact blog entry...

What the Modern Woman Wants!
The short story you are about to read is written by a 15 year old girl studying in Raffles, who won the Commonwealth Essay Contest! In my opinion, she really deserves to win! After reading it, i was deeply moved by it.. till i cried. In this short story, she portrays the irony of modern reality. Shows abit of chinese culture too. It's really amazing that a 15 year old girl actually understands the society to this extent. Excellent use of dialogue. Chief examiner Charles Kemp called her piece a 'powerfully moving and ironical critique of modern restlessness and its potentially cruel consequences'.Really wish to share this story with you guys, so please read on. ^_^

What the Modern Woman Wants By Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen

The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seatbelt tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, 'Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma.'

Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand. 'Finance' 'Liquidation' 'Assets' 'Investments'... Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it. Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent.

The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval. 'I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.

'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat.

The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter.

'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin. 'I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of problems.'

The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important.

Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look.

The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence.

'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.' Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for 'networking', Chinese ones being easily forgotten.

'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.'

Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she did not comprehend.

'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!' The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence.

The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall.

Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's side.

'Ma, I'll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,' she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.

The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.

Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook.

Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh man. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success.

What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of smouldering ashes.

She bowed once more.

The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son.

Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband had kicked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name.

Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted. Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man.

She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen.

She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood. She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl, to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu; old-fashioned. She wanted her mother to be 'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it.

Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that. The gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl's roots and now she stood, faceless, with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.

Her daughter had forgotten her mother's values. Her wants were so ephemeral; that of a modern woman. Power, Wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques, and yet her daughter had not found true happiness. The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth everything she had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman, but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.

The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter; now she had only one want: That her daughter be happy. She looked out of the temple gate. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there - down.

The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of beehoon in front of the altar.

Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she was enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life.

Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty soulless shell at the altar. T

he old lady watched her joss tick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing.

Modern woman nowadays, the old lady sighed in resignation, as she bowed to the east one final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder why they cannot find it.

Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder.

She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her daughter's face. An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sow the seeds of happiness.

They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not as fast as she had done before.

'Ma,' Bee Choo finally said. 'I don't know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay seven million for it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead.

We found a perfect one in Orchard Road. Once we move in to our apartment we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves...'

The old woman nodded knowingly.

Bee Choo swallowed hard. 'We'd get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out-but once the maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and, besides that, the apartment is rather small. There won't be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home.

There's one near Hougang-it's a Christian home, a very nice one.' The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. 'I've been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! I hardly have time for you, you'd be happier there.'

'You'd be happier there, really.' Her daughter repeated as if to affirm herself.

This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offerings to cling tightly to; she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag, and her fingers trace the white seat.

'Ma?' her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. 'Is everything okay?'

What had to be done, had to be done. 'Yes,' she said firmly, louder than she intended, 'if it will make you happy,' she added more quietly.

'It's for you, Ma! You'll be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.' Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.

'I knew everything would be fine.'

Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; Money, Status, Career, Love,Power and now, Freedom, without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down...

Yes, she was free. Her phone buzzed urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. 'Stocks 10% increase!'

Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her...

And while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible, and she did not see the tears.

one eye jack...

2004-09-13T22:24:00.000-07:00

woke up this morning with my right eye sore... swollen till i could barely open it.. not forgetting that i just woke up also la.. but yar it was quite irritating having to have one swollen eye the whole morning.. quite surprised to have a sore eye man.. cant remember when was the last time i had one..must have rubbed my eye a lot when i was sleeping last nite.. luckily it subsided in the afternoon.. otherwise the entire day would be really a blue blue monday for me...

just finished another set of drama serial.. its a just 6 discs though.. 1 volume out of 6 volumes.. so there are 36 vcds for the entire drama serial.. i think u roughly get the idea la ar.. haha story's basically abt this student whos abt to graduate who falls in love with his buddy's mum who was 20 yrs his senior and eventually got together with her.. not that he knew at 1st that the woman was his buddy's mum.. he got to know her by chance..so things became a little complicated when the woman's son (his buddy) came to know.. but it was sorted out la in the end.. those kind of happy ending kind of show.. i have this soft spot for this kind of shows with happy endings.. if the ending is a sad one i will rate the show quite badly no matter how good the plot or acting was.. haha anyway the story showed that true love has no boundaries.. and i think if i see a guy with a gf who looks like she can be his mum.. i shldnt not be putting them down deep inside like i think i would normally react..

hmm seems kind of ironic.. cos i like happy endings but i love sad rock ballads, the sadder the better haha for me sad songs just have that kind of power that other kinds of songs wouldnt have.. feel real good singing those ballads.. hmm heres a song u could try downloading.. its called forever love by x japan.. the song is in jap (duh right) but there are available translations.. just gota type x japan in search engines to check it out.. haven gotten sick of that song yet.. haha in fact been singing it almost everyday.. good training man.. really stretch ur chords to the limit.. hhaha think i can be an official promoter for x japan.. been asking quite a no. of ppl to download their music.. too bad ktvs in spore don have their songs.. otherwise.. hiak hiak..

this romeo's bleeding..

2004-09-11T01:09:00.000-07:00

first 5 day week for me which meant i could sleep till abt 10 am. haha its been a long time since i slept till that late.. before leaving to meet azrul and jerrad from maju for a ktv session.. quite an enjoyable time at a very cheap rate.. 10 bucks including a meal plus a drink and we sang for ard 4 hrs.. supposed to sing for only 3 but they said we could sing till we get asked to leave so shiok la sing for 1 more hr.. quite an enjoyable time.. singing my heart and throat out.. lol.. wonder how im gona lead songs tmr sia..

todays trainin session was not bad.. started the 9 a side competition.. think i did better from last week.. feeling more comfortable now but still alot of things to improve on.. scored a goal from just outside the penalty box.. been a long time since i scored so it felt quite good haha.. anyway appreciate the lecturing that azrul gives on the pitch.. at least since coach isnt doing much in helping us improve.. my fellow team mate can do that.. think he might be reading this part so thanks to u mate.. for the first time since many weeks ago we had a lot of players coming for training today.. really hope this continues consistently for long.. morale quite low among few players and i know they are contemplating to quit.. hope not.. probably the good attendance was becos it coincides with the commencement of the 9 aside.. i dont know..

tmr supposed to be playing court soccer with my sec sch frens.. even told jason that i wouldnt be joining him and the youth to visit uncle yeoh to kinda lend some support.. after thinking thru i have decided to reverse my initial decision and go for the visitation instead.. think that would be the 'right' thing to do la.. even though the pull of soccer is very great and my discomfort/dislike for seeing ppl dying.. its just depressing ar in a way.. thats y i haven been to a funeral in a long time.. whenever my parents would ask me to come along i would just say no.. then they would say if i don go then in future no one will go to their funeral.. ahha weird sia speaking of their dying so freely.. think i would discuss topic on death another day otherwise not enough sleep for me.. got quite alot of stuff to talk abt this.. zzz

less advantaged..

2004-09-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

today was one of the rare occasions i managed to reach home at 5 plus.. reason being was it was community day and the activity ended at 430.. our dept went to visit the Red cross home for the disabled.. it was a simple building with 3 stories housing about 86 residents who were of different ages young and old.. most of them were having some kind of muscle paralysis while a few had down syndrome.. think i will sound quite cliched but was filled with sympathy and a little bit of sadness when i got to see them.. esp when i saw one who was my age but definitely less fortunate than me.. some couldnt even respond when u talk to them.. u could only see their eyes brighten alittle when u try talking to them or holding their hand.. it was only when i came across some who responded that the heart lightened a little.. one of those times where i just couldnt say " what a waste of my time".. haha

in the morning the whole of mindef and gombak base, 5 sir participated in a run.. cos today was active day.. i did quite alright getting into the top 20 i think.. better than last yr.. can still remember the same day last yr where after the run we could measure our body mass index.. body fat percentage etc, i was tested with having blood in the urine.. seriously shocked at first but later the nurse told me that most likely i overexerted myself cos i went to lift weights after the run.. lucky sia.. then as for body fat percentage i got 23 percent which was a lot.. hahaha felt good when i measured a 15.9 today.. looks like the running and stopping of soft drinks paid off.. but still theres room for improvement la... shall make it closer to the 10 percent mark in future..

din have time to blog yesterday cos was watching sg idol.. this weeks competition was stiffer than the other 2 weeks but still the results were surprisingly screwed up.. leandra, beverly and nanah were expected to go thru and deservedly so cos their singing were better.. in the end leandra, jeffery and taufik.. for taufik i din mind him going thru cos at least he did a decent job with the song 'my girl'.. but jeffery was pathetic sia.. sounded damn constipated like wad one of the judges florence said.. cant believe he could actually get in cos his singing was like one of the weakest.. heard his singing halfway and i just forwarded the video tape (recorded the programme) to save time.. if its becos he's from city harvest and he got the whole church to vote for him.. i can say that im quite disgusted at that.. anyway hope for better voting next time man..

computer idiot..

2004-09-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

used to take those computer lessons at some computer sch back when i was in pri sch.. my dad probably thought that it was good for me since computers were getting quite popular and important in the society.. however wad i learnt was those unimpt stuff.. lots of history and a little bit of basic programming .. how to make some snake like object move ard using commands.. don think i can remember how to do that now.. quite a waste of money i feel.. useless lessons which cost quite a lot.. anyway back to the present.. was talking to joan abt this blogging page of mine.. to sort of improve it i had to have some knowledge of html to make changes.. haha din know anything abt this html thing.. i think the most i know abt computer is probably playing computer games, surfing.. downloading stuff.. chatting online.. doing a little of word and excel... html ? nah.. haha thats y i respect those who are good in this esp the ppl in my office.. or u could say my colleague in my branch.. without him/them.. i can honestly say i can get quite stuck in work and things cant go smoothly.. for eg. maybe when an officer is asking me to fix some IT problem.. i would be at a loss man.. at the most i will try to play ard with the problem to find a way to overcome it but in the end i would just ask my fren for help.. haha what to do.. im a newbie to this kind of stuff..

haha my branch colleague.. the IT expert.. hes gona be leaving soon at the end of the year.. hes been a great fren and fellow worker.. very unique points of views which sometimes differs from my views but still quite interesting to hear.. i mean if u keep talking to someone who keeps agreeing with u. wheres the fun in that? i believe there wont be any replacement for him which means i'll be sort of alone thx to my chief clerk who doesnt seem to be trying very hard to get a new clerk to come in.. haha sad.. come to think of it.. its like so fast.. but when i look at when im gona leave.. wah its like a long long way to go.. 11 mths more.. and its back to sch.. but anyway gota wish him all the best.. future bill gates ? haha

been singing alot recently.. i think almost everyday.. quite afraid that i might get throat cancer judging from the way ive been wacking on those crazy rock songs.. but still alright.. haven gotten a sore throat which means im not overstraining it.. i hope.. haha think i read somewhere that singing is actually good for soothing the soul and destressing.. maybe im a little stressed up ? haha so thats a little tip for whoevers feeling stressed up.. my mums always worried that my neighbours living upstairs will throw urine bombs down haha.. actually from the volume of the singing i think tts quite possible.. haha but its more likely that they will personally come and knock on my door.. ok hope that doesnt happen otherwise gota restrict myself then..

dreams...

2004-09-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

got to wear civillian clothing today.. one of those rare occasions where i get to wear it cos attended a meeting at HSA (health science authority)regarding drug testing.. however ironic thing is i actually preferred wearing the no3 army uniform that is.. perhaps it was more comfortable and gotten used to it after wearing it almost everyday.. the good thing abt wearing civillian clothing is that officers who didnt know that im just a low ranking clerk talked to me as if i was on the same level as them.. the power of the uniform... and of cos the rank.. some with superior rank would behave as though they were gods.. treating those of lower rank like dirt.. fortunately in my office this is not so evident.. another one of my blessings..

but don look forward to tmr man.. cos i gota write the minutes for today's meeting ! sux man.. i was trying my best to pay attention after a heavy lunch.. din bother to jot down the pts.. so much blabbering and talking cock among different grps of ppl.. think just anyhow wack la tmr.. always think i shld be out there somewhere in the field instead of writing minutes.. this is so unlike me.. rather be doing some physical stuff .. too bad.. if only i din report my eye in the 1st place.. smart move.. shld have reported it after bmt so can at least cut off 2 mths off my service obligation.. regrets..

just passed a whole bunch of vcds which is some drama serial abt a rock band shin.. on how they made it big after the many obstacles and all that.. very inspiring drama which sort of made me dream a little.. i mean i can imagine rocking the whole stadium with ppl screaming the band's name.. haha that would be great man and getting paid for something i like to do.. thats very impt but sadly how many ppl actually achieve that.. many ppl don get their ideal jobs, they just work to survive and support their families.. blah blah blah.. suddenly recalled a phrase i cant remember where i heard it from whereby its saying that america is a land where dreams come true.. wouldnt exactly agree with that la but in a way, america and also western countries in general are more open to rock music or rock bands in particular.. if u look at the number of bands in asia.. it seriously pales in comparison.. i cannot even list more than 5 chinese bands.. lets see... shin, beyond, mayday, and 5566... ? lol

haha maybe i don really listen to modern music tats y it might be quite unfair to make the comment.. but i think the pt still stands.. it would be easier to make it in pop or rnb hip hop that kind of stuff in asia then in rock music.. maybe u can just refer to the idol reality show.. its all pop jazz etc.. very little rock.. anyway a little bit of this pt of view came from the band shin itself.. and i sort of agree.. but i also agree that with hard work.. anything is possible.. so those rockers holding dreams.. don give up.. go watch the drama if u can.. haha quite nice.. finshed the 20 discs in a week despite the tight schedule that i had..

Kicking off...

2004-09-06T23:11:00.000-07:00

woah cant believe im actually doing this and i don really know how long i will last doing this blogging thing.. shall just see how it goes.. ok i sort of procrastinated in doing this online diary thing until this fren of mine (joan) coaxed me into it.. i remember the last time i did a diary was back in pri sch.. i still have it somewhere in my room.. need to burn it though.. contains embarrassing stuff in it.. stopped the diary writing after finding that i din really have anything interesting to write abt.. everyday goes like "today nothing interesting happened" and it just slowly died off.. Anyway lets start off.. today was as usual a day of just surfing the net and wasting a day away in the office.. but this came after a whole week of work last week.. was bz editing my officer's paper.. hes a perfectionist who demands perfection in every piece of work that it realli pissed me off the first time i assisted him..

I was like .. issit really a must to edit this minor part or must change to this font, must have spacing here and there.. i think my face was black after the many ammendments that i did and he still wasnt satisfied.. think he could see that which is probably y he tried jokin a little to lighten me up.. anyway its been like a yr of being under him.. and i believe ive gotten used to his style of work already.. although still irritated by his constant changes to my draft.. i mean cant u settle all the ammendments once and for all.. haha i think this is a clerk's complaints.. rather than for those in unit.. they complain abt training and physical fatique... hmm makes me feel rather whimpy.. but oh well.. ya back to my maj.. hes retired starting since the 1st of this month and starting as a dxo not to mention im still under him..but hes actually quite a nice guy la.. only when he get into those mood swings of his..

ok i think this is the 1st and last time im going into such detail abt him.. just hope we maintain a good relationship.. or u will read in the newspaper that a clerk murdered his superior.. haha i bet a lot of ppl think abt that.. just that they just have enuff self control to restrain themselves.. so bosses if u are reading this.. better don push ur luck too far.. lol...

yar actually was coming to the more interesting part of today's post.. sorry for the long post.. wont blame u if u stopped reading it half way but what the heck... anyway.. finally finalised the members of the band .. gona start jamming 2 weeks from now.. its been a long long time since ive jammed.. the last time was for some band competition in college.. lame thing.. yet again i did not do the initiation to start up the band .. it was a fren of a fren.. who is a guitarist who kind of initiated it.. i just helped in choosing the songs and roping in my bassist and drummer from the same band in college... kinda excited abt it.. just hope i don screw things up in the first session cos the songs are kind of challenging.. also hope this wont die off so soon.. the feeling during jamming can be so electrifying and satisfying.. see how it goes la ar.. ok thanx for ur attention..u've been really patient haha yeah u can go surf elsewhere now.. buzz off...till tmr..